ive recently made the mistake of joining the face book group of my old middle school, and off the back of that have recieved a few new requests from old brainwashing buddies, one namely is quite disturbing from a Mr N thompson hey hope your well ? {he goes onto repeat word for word my former childhood address , sort of like this " hey hope your well your 12 ocasia gardens boy arent you, as i remember you disapeared in 8 GH? ( my class name for the final year).
Ive been at a loss on how to reply to that one and havent even decided if i want to be friends with someone who uses a persons abode for facial recognition. What is infinitly more disturbing is this lad seems to think i disapeared all of a sudden , was i unwittlingly the fuel for a nationwide manhunt of a schoolboy? milllions of pounds in tax spent on the futile search for a lifeless body of a youth with so much unknown potential, "probably buggered by peadophiles" they would say "and dumped in a ravine", i mean if i was i couldnt have been up there with the mccanns saga, i dont recall much media interest.
So to put to bed any fears Mr N Thompson about my ravaged childhood anus at the hand's of kidknappers, no i did not disapear , i did something called moving to high school, you stupid cunt and as for me accepting your fucking stupid friend request you stupid fucking stupid fucking fucking stupid cunt.... of course i will because im a whore, justlike everyone else.
Sunday, 28 February 2010
what do they take us for?
remember this crazy fad that swept the nation " take two bottles into the shower? not me i just wash and go, with all new 2 in 1". Yes it's the spin doctors notion if that they combine two items into one product youl probably save enough time out of your busy life that if you wash you hair long enough youl live for fucking ever.
But this craze slipped away from us it still is here as a product but it just died as a concept, makes me wonder did an entire nation one day walk into their bathrooms and with a moment of pure exquisite clarity gaze upon their bottle of new improved head and shoulders 2 in 1 shampoo conditoner and think............... fuck this i could probably pick two bottles up today, why not... live a little.
But this craze slipped away from us it still is here as a product but it just died as a concept, makes me wonder did an entire nation one day walk into their bathrooms and with a moment of pure exquisite clarity gaze upon their bottle of new improved head and shoulders 2 in 1 shampoo conditoner and think............... fuck this i could probably pick two bottles up today, why not... live a little.
Friday, 26 February 2010
fraudulent souveneirs
we all recieve little mementos from people who go abroad dont we? my mother went to mexico a while ago and brought me back a gas fuled disposable lighter all the way from deepest darkest cancun. A South American lighterindeed, home to the aztecs and such like civilizations, and i thought it was great it had all the authentic markings of their aincient symbols via the medium of a sticker, oh yes i was well pleased with it chuffed you might say plastic all the way from a different continent, a rich and mysterious land yes please mmm i lapped it up, i never knew i was born until this point i tell you, no doubt fueled by the oil of a fermented decapitated mayan sacrifice victim on the steps of their pyramid temple youd imagine so wouldnt you?
well no turns out not actually cunts!
yesterday i noticed the curling up at the corner of said sticker and like most of the obsessive compulsive sexually frustrated hairless chimpanzees out there, i stripped it bare within the minute,
and do you know what? do you know what i fucking found ?, made in China, made in twatting China i tell you, by some poor communist chinese prisoner in a sweat shop factory with a unremovable exploding neck brace in case he trys to escape the totalitairian regimes border limits thus taking his human rights violated head clean off, you know what ?, do you know what?
i just feel fucking cheated
well no turns out not actually cunts!
yesterday i noticed the curling up at the corner of said sticker and like most of the obsessive compulsive sexually frustrated hairless chimpanzees out there, i stripped it bare within the minute,
and do you know what? do you know what i fucking found ?, made in China, made in twatting China i tell you, by some poor communist chinese prisoner in a sweat shop factory with a unremovable exploding neck brace in case he trys to escape the totalitairian regimes border limits thus taking his human rights violated head clean off, you know what ?, do you know what?
i just feel fucking cheated
yeah
you know what i hate? people who enjoy hangovers, they exist, coming into your room the morning after the wild night before over excitable reminicing about how fucking crazy it was last night " oi you you fackin nutter, you gave away your kidney last night, moohahahahah , it was good though wasnt it, wernt it? it was though admit it was fucking mental , your fucking mental, you mentalist moooohahahah (out of breath sigh)
to which you reply who the fuck are you? get out of my house? and why you wearing my underpants? piss off
to which you reply who the fuck are you? get out of my house? and why you wearing my underpants? piss off
Thursday, 25 February 2010
just a thought
its not that the goods ,gizmos gadgets,trinkets and baubles in this world we strive to accumulate are so destructive on our society as such, but rather the lengths,lows and depths that some of us will go to aquire them.
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Sunday, 14 February 2010
Olympic woe and woaahhhhhh
Over the years olympic tragedies have been rare but hardhitting, be it the horrors of munich, or the tragic death {and i mean that truly} of the georgian athlete who in practicing for his event in the luge at the winter olympics careered of the icy run to his death at a rate of speed which does not beg to be thought about.
The luge to the uninformed is an event in which you hurl yourself down a toboggan run, on your back on a tea tray,with no brakes, in a helmet wearing a skin tight fruity little garment like an allin one speedo suit, just to see who has the best time, with the consolation prize being, the hope that you live through it.
The fact this poor athlete was only practicing in itself impresses me , i mean for the love of god imagine how far he wouldve flew of the track if it was for real and he was giving it all hes got round that icy tube of death, there is only one certainty im sure of, is that wherever he landed il wager my last 10 pounds they have built a new ASDA super market in crawling distance which given his bodily state afterwards would more than likely be appropriate.
I learnt of this accident whilst watching BBC News coverage of the Vancouver winter olympics who i thought bravely decided to show him hurtling down the track to his death , .. or so i thought until the reporter stated " the bbc has decided that to show images of this final moment and feel it would be too distressing" or something of that nature.
Distressing for who? may i ask? his family and loved ones maybe yes i can agree with that, but that is not why they choose not to show you, they feel they know what is best for the viewer, i for one am curious of this although appalled at myself for it but it is a perfectly natural human act to be curious to want to face that tragedy head on and face it in all its horror.
I thought to myself, not even a look away moment like they do with the football scores, in case you want to watch the highlights on match of the day " now we go to the sport and if you dont want see the result of a man in a gimp suit on a tea tray doing a tonne and being scattered all over canada look away now " you know something like that, the question begs to be asked what do we get for our licence fee? my disabled aunty slipped on a rubber bath mat once and cracked her head firstly on a bottle of head and shoulders then the corner of the bath and due to the fact we did not have a digital camcorder in the vicinity of the incident, we politely asked her to do it again,after all its the done and proper thing isnt it?.
It is the same reason they dont like to show you upon the news the innocent men women and children being killed everyday as the result of shady wars political manouveres, and why is that? il tell you why , because the moment people actually start seeing the realities of life and death, and to face the prospect of the fact of everything ending suddenly or tragically, and to really come to terms with it grasp the absurdities of it all, then and only then can a man or woman truly begin to live and to feel free. And after all what good would that be to the economy? millions of free thinking people aware of whats really important in life with very little compulsion at all to fill there lives with shitand stuff that they truly dont need in the blind faith it will make them happy and help them live forever instead of just here and now and to be constantly force fed bile masquerading as information on there television sets.
So i for one prefer to see the horrors and the beauty of life to face it and soak it all up for the very same reason that I one day will be that gimp on a tea tray, to laugh when you shouldnt is fine, let it all hang out whats the fuss about, to see that life has no meaning other than the meaning you place upon it , and if the meaning your giving it is the fear of fear itself then your playing right into their hands.
The deceased i like to imagine felt no pain, and upon arriving at whatever " heaven" and " god " which had took his fancy in life,, for example the gates of heaven with st peter and jesus giving him the once over to see if hes allowed in( bear with me i know it all sounds a bit fantastical youl be glad i left out the bit about winged men in sheets and playing harps) ....and for him to be standing there feeling a bit of a tit for the way hes dressed in his man made fabric condom suit upon entering nirvana, and for jesus to be putting his arm around him saying, "never mind son we have some plimsoles and a dirty vest in the lost property basket" like when you had brought unappropriate attire for physical education, you know that feeling when your in a new school
and youve been sent in first day wearing a snazzy pair of white slip on loafers ? No? well maybe thats just me.
Anyways im not sure what the message is here if any at all but id like to end on the old addage "Its all fun and games , until somebody gets hurt"
The luge to the uninformed is an event in which you hurl yourself down a toboggan run, on your back on a tea tray,with no brakes, in a helmet wearing a skin tight fruity little garment like an allin one speedo suit, just to see who has the best time, with the consolation prize being, the hope that you live through it.
The fact this poor athlete was only practicing in itself impresses me , i mean for the love of god imagine how far he wouldve flew of the track if it was for real and he was giving it all hes got round that icy tube of death, there is only one certainty im sure of, is that wherever he landed il wager my last 10 pounds they have built a new ASDA super market in crawling distance which given his bodily state afterwards would more than likely be appropriate.
I learnt of this accident whilst watching BBC News coverage of the Vancouver winter olympics who i thought bravely decided to show him hurtling down the track to his death , .. or so i thought until the reporter stated " the bbc has decided that to show images of this final moment and feel it would be too distressing" or something of that nature.
Distressing for who? may i ask? his family and loved ones maybe yes i can agree with that, but that is not why they choose not to show you, they feel they know what is best for the viewer, i for one am curious of this although appalled at myself for it but it is a perfectly natural human act to be curious to want to face that tragedy head on and face it in all its horror.
I thought to myself, not even a look away moment like they do with the football scores, in case you want to watch the highlights on match of the day " now we go to the sport and if you dont want see the result of a man in a gimp suit on a tea tray doing a tonne and being scattered all over canada look away now " you know something like that, the question begs to be asked what do we get for our licence fee? my disabled aunty slipped on a rubber bath mat once and cracked her head firstly on a bottle of head and shoulders then the corner of the bath and due to the fact we did not have a digital camcorder in the vicinity of the incident, we politely asked her to do it again,after all its the done and proper thing isnt it?.
It is the same reason they dont like to show you upon the news the innocent men women and children being killed everyday as the result of shady wars political manouveres, and why is that? il tell you why , because the moment people actually start seeing the realities of life and death, and to face the prospect of the fact of everything ending suddenly or tragically, and to really come to terms with it grasp the absurdities of it all, then and only then can a man or woman truly begin to live and to feel free. And after all what good would that be to the economy? millions of free thinking people aware of whats really important in life with very little compulsion at all to fill there lives with shitand stuff that they truly dont need in the blind faith it will make them happy and help them live forever instead of just here and now and to be constantly force fed bile masquerading as information on there television sets.
So i for one prefer to see the horrors and the beauty of life to face it and soak it all up for the very same reason that I one day will be that gimp on a tea tray, to laugh when you shouldnt is fine, let it all hang out whats the fuss about, to see that life has no meaning other than the meaning you place upon it , and if the meaning your giving it is the fear of fear itself then your playing right into their hands.
The deceased i like to imagine felt no pain, and upon arriving at whatever " heaven" and " god " which had took his fancy in life,, for example the gates of heaven with st peter and jesus giving him the once over to see if hes allowed in( bear with me i know it all sounds a bit fantastical youl be glad i left out the bit about winged men in sheets and playing harps) ....and for him to be standing there feeling a bit of a tit for the way hes dressed in his man made fabric condom suit upon entering nirvana, and for jesus to be putting his arm around him saying, "never mind son we have some plimsoles and a dirty vest in the lost property basket" like when you had brought unappropriate attire for physical education, you know that feeling when your in a new school
and youve been sent in first day wearing a snazzy pair of white slip on loafers ? No? well maybe thats just me.
Anyways im not sure what the message is here if any at all but id like to end on the old addage "Its all fun and games , until somebody gets hurt"
Friday, 12 February 2010
" There is two kinds of people in this world when you boil it all down, you have your talkers and you got your doers, most people are just talkers, all they got is talk, but when all is said and done, its the doers who change this world and when they do that they change us and thats why we never forget them......so which one are you?, do you just talk about it? or do you stand up and do something about it?.
Because believe you me all the rest of it is just coffee shop bullshit.........."
Because believe you me all the rest of it is just coffee shop bullshit.........."
Thursday, 11 February 2010
In The News...
Kate " smack fiend" moss is said to be devastated at the death of her close friend, and designer extraordinaire Alexander McQueen after his very very very very tragic self killing episode at the age of 40 and as your nan would say " its no age is it", in a statement she said " Kate is shocked and devasted at the death of her dear friend lee ( isnt his name alexander make your mind up) McQueen- her thoughts are with his family at this sad time." Well i for one am glad miss moss<(funny and accurate) cleared up this little mystery, as id wondered exactly where her thoughts have been the best part of ten years apparently the McQueen family have been harbouring that vacuous stick insects metaphysical imaginings for safe keeping, more than likely in case she dropped them out her pocket while weasel boy docherty was sticking his rusty trouser needle in her a few years back.
The outpouring grief it seems is not confined to his nearest and dearest, many of my facebook "friends" which number 47 which is ironic as i actually only own one real friend and he isnt even on my face book page,.. can you own a friend?? im not sure.( il look into that one) anyways as i was saying comments are abound in statuses on facebook and i will quote one devasted young ladies words of condolence "Elaine Hargreaves - find's it strange that she decided to wear her McQUEEN skirt today after not wearing it for ages ;) spooky."
Now apart from the obvious talkin in the third person which we shall over look on this occaision( fucking wierdo) i have to say i was exactly the same when englands rose , Diana " the peoples" Princess was fataly killed in that god forsaken garlic munchers tunnel god rest her soul , in fact that very morning id took one sip from my Charles and Dianas commemorative mug when it shattered into a thousand pieces on the kitchen floor oooh spooky,,or that time when fashion lord gianni versace was slain on the steps of his home or wherever it occurred,that day i woke up with my blood soaked VERSACE underpants on, th ones with haute coture bullet wounds in them, and that hasnt happened for "agggges" "spooky".
I guess what im getting at is these people including McQUEEN are not newsworthy they do not deserve this out pouring of grief and media coverage when there is much more important things going on the world than the suicide of some cunt who got paid vast amounts of money to scribbl;e drawings of dresses on a piece of paper and get some other poor twat to stitch the material together, apparently the reason for his suicide may have been due to the fact his mother died 11 days previous, i dont care you selfish poncy little cry baby you had a nice life and people die , we all do but hurrying the process up is not big and its not clever.
Hey no offence to my mother but if she died as much as id be upset, i wouldnt be swinging from the rafters 11 days later or slicing my wrists whilst downing the pills , id be too busy spending the insurance money on wine, women and song not to mention finding a suitable place to dispose of the murder weapon.
stitch this you cunt.............\/
The outpouring grief it seems is not confined to his nearest and dearest, many of my facebook "friends" which number 47 which is ironic as i actually only own one real friend and he isnt even on my face book page,.. can you own a friend?? im not sure.( il look into that one) anyways as i was saying comments are abound in statuses on facebook and i will quote one devasted young ladies words of condolence "Elaine Hargreaves - find's it strange that she decided to wear her McQUEEN skirt today after not wearing it for ages ;) spooky."
Now apart from the obvious talkin in the third person which we shall over look on this occaision( fucking wierdo) i have to say i was exactly the same when englands rose , Diana " the peoples" Princess was fataly killed in that god forsaken garlic munchers tunnel god rest her soul , in fact that very morning id took one sip from my Charles and Dianas commemorative mug when it shattered into a thousand pieces on the kitchen floor oooh spooky,,or that time when fashion lord gianni versace was slain on the steps of his home or wherever it occurred,that day i woke up with my blood soaked VERSACE underpants on, th ones with haute coture bullet wounds in them, and that hasnt happened for "agggges" "spooky".
I guess what im getting at is these people including McQUEEN are not newsworthy they do not deserve this out pouring of grief and media coverage when there is much more important things going on the world than the suicide of some cunt who got paid vast amounts of money to scribbl;e drawings of dresses on a piece of paper and get some other poor twat to stitch the material together, apparently the reason for his suicide may have been due to the fact his mother died 11 days previous, i dont care you selfish poncy little cry baby you had a nice life and people die , we all do but hurrying the process up is not big and its not clever.
Hey no offence to my mother but if she died as much as id be upset, i wouldnt be swinging from the rafters 11 days later or slicing my wrists whilst downing the pills , id be too busy spending the insurance money on wine, women and song not to mention finding a suitable place to dispose of the murder weapon.
stitch this you cunt.............\/
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