You know that fucking dream, the one where you leave the house, and you think everything is normal right up until you get somewhere crowded, then bang! your naked ? we've all had it in some form or another, well i have, but in my dream it deviates slightly, i always seem to have a pissy cover less duvet wrapped round my vitamin B deficient carcass, it looks like maybe your filthy pissy pants grandad was using it to doss down on, "not my grandad" you say, well maybe not yours but definitely mine.
you see your dreams right, i believe anyway, are a manifestation of how your feeling, whether you feel free sad happy horny drunk melancholic, depressed elated dizzy dopey sneezey or even bashful, the mind will create that very tangible expression of your exterior world, in your subconscious but with slightly more artistic licence than it.
Does my subconscious pity me that much it feels i need a blanket in a fictional embarrassing social situation so as not tip me over the edge?. it think it probably does,an it says a lot about me, the self even, i conclude the mind is a very poetic thing i suppose it teaches you "things" about yourself and then burns them onto a dvd and lets you watch them while you sleep, a bit like the open university i suppose, its a smart bit of kit.
You see i can find the beauty in all that stuff these days, the wonder of you, me, and everyone and everything that shit just blows my mind sometimes.
Theres just one thing puzzling me, in a Colombo type way,what the hell!?, out of all the things my subconscious could have wove for me in that dream, all the infinite possibilities the full spectra, colours, sounds ,vibrations, all possibilities, out off allll those and more, why ?why ?why? did my subconscious mind choose to wrap me in a grandad piss stained blanket, in my moment of need.
it wasn't even a high tog rating.
how very very strange.
Monday, 9 August 2010
Sunday, 18 July 2010
i just said that
Theres something i find quite egotistical, about to wanting to find your own ego and then destroy it.
Thursday, 17 June 2010
life or death
Ive just spent twenty minutes sat on the lavatory deciding whether or not i should swat a fly to death with a pair of my dirty underpants.
I'm rather pleased i chose to spare his life, but in a moment of clarity i just felt a bit pathetic stood with a pair of stained nut cabinets in my hand , clear proof i should not be sent to war i think.
I'm rather pleased i chose to spare his life, but in a moment of clarity i just felt a bit pathetic stood with a pair of stained nut cabinets in my hand , clear proof i should not be sent to war i think.
its never gonna happen
I watched an old rerun episode of that Bear Grylls, "born survivor"(it was like his parents always knew hed be a twat) last night you'd think maybe with a name like bear he'd be rather butch but all i saw from him, was lots of skipping down the odd sand dune , jumping excitedly from one rock to another like some fanta filled child in some sort of action montage, then he tells us we can eat all the little critters to stay alive before spitting them out and telling us it tasted like shit, very informative.
I began to wonder how the hell id get lost in the Mexican desert to start with, obviously he was dropped off there via a medium of transport, i started to muse how the various scenarios of how id end up in the Mexican wilderness, fell out of a plane maybe? not likely for the reason that should i survive the 40,000 ft drop from an aeroplane without a parachute, (for one i do not think American airlines have in economy class) without at least grazing my knee, I'm unlikely to be carrying a bowie knife, wearing sturdy combat trousers, or carrying a Small bit of charcoal used for primitive water purification device let alone having a nifty gortex jacket draped round my waist and tied in a knot like a jaunty public schoolboy, the pies ta resistance was bear happening upon a honeycomb being guarded by angry dangerous bees and he took great pleasure in showing us how to retrieve the honey without getting stung, whilst getting stung, genius, however this super man manages to make it to the coast with a bee stung elephant man face swollen to hell whilst carrying a knotted makeshift snake skin canteen filled with his own piss, then upon reaching the sea removes his clothes jumps in then wanders jogging down the shore line like David Hasslehoff completely forgetting about all his belongings fucking poser Andy Mcnab? Andy MCscab i say , well at least it wasn't the episode where he slept in a rotten carcass for no good reason or the one where he shows us how to get out of freezing cold water, i guess my point is I'm never ever, nor is a vast majority of the viewing public going to get too these places, to be honest i cant afford it , and hey if we did bear mate wed do what every British man would do when in a hot country or on a holiday of a lifetime tie a not in a hanky lie back and whine about the locals not speaking English and wait for the coach to come pick us up.
i would not i stress not resort to drinking my 90 degree urine out of a reptiles arse, id no doubt have a packet of fruit pastels in my pocket that would keep me going for a good day or two.
I began to wonder how the hell id get lost in the Mexican desert to start with, obviously he was dropped off there via a medium of transport, i started to muse how the various scenarios of how id end up in the Mexican wilderness, fell out of a plane maybe? not likely for the reason that should i survive the 40,000 ft drop from an aeroplane without a parachute, (for one i do not think American airlines have in economy class) without at least grazing my knee, I'm unlikely to be carrying a bowie knife, wearing sturdy combat trousers, or carrying a Small bit of charcoal used for primitive water purification device let alone having a nifty gortex jacket draped round my waist and tied in a knot like a jaunty public schoolboy, the pies ta resistance was bear happening upon a honeycomb being guarded by angry dangerous bees and he took great pleasure in showing us how to retrieve the honey without getting stung, whilst getting stung, genius, however this super man manages to make it to the coast with a bee stung elephant man face swollen to hell whilst carrying a knotted makeshift snake skin canteen filled with his own piss, then upon reaching the sea removes his clothes jumps in then wanders jogging down the shore line like David Hasslehoff completely forgetting about all his belongings fucking poser Andy Mcnab? Andy MCscab i say , well at least it wasn't the episode where he slept in a rotten carcass for no good reason or the one where he shows us how to get out of freezing cold water, i guess my point is I'm never ever, nor is a vast majority of the viewing public going to get too these places, to be honest i cant afford it , and hey if we did bear mate wed do what every British man would do when in a hot country or on a holiday of a lifetime tie a not in a hanky lie back and whine about the locals not speaking English and wait for the coach to come pick us up.
i would not i stress not resort to drinking my 90 degree urine out of a reptiles arse, id no doubt have a packet of fruit pastels in my pocket that would keep me going for a good day or two.
Monday, 14 June 2010
suspicious toffee crisp wrapper found up grandmas snatch
I was flicking through endless bile on sky television prior to this of course but later this evening when i happened upon the outlandish and cheesy American soap opera days of our lives, i entered mid scene with a young couple a man and a very distraught and tearful wife sitting at a kitchen table asking a sitting, drowsy and very near death grandma " who did it grandma, please tell us pleeease" grandma just sat there swaying and moaning like Derek Acorah in 25 Cromwell street, which lead me to believe that she had been molested by a poltergeist and the perpetrator was still in the act and that's where it fucking left me. now i have to sleep, but not until i check the TV guide to find out when i can can catch the next episode just to put my mind at rest she hasn't been followed home from a seance, that's how they suck you in bastards.
Wednesday, 9 June 2010
super smashing great
Words and language betray us in so many ways, well not so much the existence of but most definitely our use of them.
Last night i opened up a packet of " fun size" maltesers shook the bag and out popped four little spherical chocolate morsels, i repeat four! now I'm not expecting to be swimming in fucking chocolate public baths like scrooge mcduck in his money bin, after reading a label advertising fun size i sort of know exactly what to expect from my snack experience but its downright scandalous, i had a packet the evening before and i definitely had a handful i wont profess to know the exact number but it wasn't four.
But why am i surprised i tell myself the world is full of over exaggerations and misused superlatives mostly perpetrated by advertising , political, retail or media agencies and we fucking lap it up like morons on an outing, i mean look at the world we had the great depression yeah that was fucking grrrreat wasn't it i especially liked that part when those few million non third world human beings died from starvation, we have super markets or to the layman a market for Christs sake its a bastard market, mega stores , a big shop, oh oh and business and retail parks sounds fun don't it? yeah until you get there and ask where all the fun is or where they have hidden the slide swings and monkey twatting bars.
I could go on with my rant and i could find many more examples of which I'm sure there are many, and some that would further cause me more anguish and you may think I'm over reacting, but it just underlines the bullshit that permeates this world ,bullshit bullshit bullshit man I've had enough i truly have oh hold on one more and this is a fucking corker HYPER market, this enrages me to the uppermost, when i think of hyper i think of new dimensions in space and time parallel universes, traversing at great speeds for the benefit of humanity and scientific break throughs, travelling at hyper speed to reach distant quadrants of this universe and maybe even others to meet and share knowledge of understanding ourselves with hyper dimensional beings super men mega men to infinity and the great beyond.
What next new DAZ quantum detergent? it probably exists.
I'm writing to the chocolate company who makes these fuckers, who is it again? MARS? oh now your just winding me up fuck off just fffffuck offff.
Last night i opened up a packet of " fun size" maltesers shook the bag and out popped four little spherical chocolate morsels, i repeat four! now I'm not expecting to be swimming in fucking chocolate public baths like scrooge mcduck in his money bin, after reading a label advertising fun size i sort of know exactly what to expect from my snack experience but its downright scandalous, i had a packet the evening before and i definitely had a handful i wont profess to know the exact number but it wasn't four.
But why am i surprised i tell myself the world is full of over exaggerations and misused superlatives mostly perpetrated by advertising , political, retail or media agencies and we fucking lap it up like morons on an outing, i mean look at the world we had the great depression yeah that was fucking grrrreat wasn't it i especially liked that part when those few million non third world human beings died from starvation, we have super markets or to the layman a market for Christs sake its a bastard market, mega stores , a big shop, oh oh and business and retail parks sounds fun don't it? yeah until you get there and ask where all the fun is or where they have hidden the slide swings and monkey twatting bars.
I could go on with my rant and i could find many more examples of which I'm sure there are many, and some that would further cause me more anguish and you may think I'm over reacting, but it just underlines the bullshit that permeates this world ,bullshit bullshit bullshit man I've had enough i truly have oh hold on one more and this is a fucking corker HYPER market, this enrages me to the uppermost, when i think of hyper i think of new dimensions in space and time parallel universes, traversing at great speeds for the benefit of humanity and scientific break throughs, travelling at hyper speed to reach distant quadrants of this universe and maybe even others to meet and share knowledge of understanding ourselves with hyper dimensional beings super men mega men to infinity and the great beyond.
What next new DAZ quantum detergent? it probably exists.
I'm writing to the chocolate company who makes these fuckers, who is it again? MARS? oh now your just winding me up fuck off just fffffuck offff.
Monday, 7 June 2010
is your child minder a glitter sitter?
i have come across if you pardon the pun , a web page dedicated to helping you spot one of these vile sex offenders, a list of tell tale signs definitions, and handy notes in the margin as it were ,in fact the term i am looking for is dossier or no no no a peeeedo file even.
most of the sections are all very informative and rightly so but one deals with the category of THE ATTITUDE OF CHILD MOLESTERS and excerpts of the page go as follows.
The kinds of traps he sets for your children -and where he sets them.
" The most often used traps include asking for help,finding a lost puppy carrying books and groceries or asking for directions. Young children are lured by money toys candy or promises of puppies or kittens older children by drugs money or alcohol , or even promises of movie careers"
Just how many real bona fide peedos do you know that actually use the line do you want to come see my puppies? me? none that's right none zilch zero, i especially do not know any who claim to be fucking Steven Spielberg, this is either a horrifying statistic or a very bad stereo type of a child molester.
" hey , kid stick with me I'm gonna make you a star, sign on the dotted line kid me and you lets make movies straighhhht to the top yes sir" would say Steven whilst twiddling a giant cigar in his mouth like one of the twatting Marx brothers, " OK but what about the puppies sweets and kittens MR S.?" would say the child, "never mind that boy I'm making E.T 2 so get in the fucking basket" .
Its just not very fucking likely is it?
Id be far more inclined to be believe he was setting real traps to catch them ones with big sharp steel jaws that clang shut and rip the kids legs off at the knee, bear pits, fuck knows giant mouse traps maybe , what i do know is kids ain't interested in fluffy kittens and sweeties.
An abductor preys upon children who-
takes short cuts to school
looks depressed
are loners
appear unkempt neglected or unsupervised
and frequent video arcades
Oh yeah very likely , how many kids actually use arcades any more since the induction of the junior predator drone simulation system concept X box live, all i can imagine here is an arcade chocka block full of peedos looking furtively around and at their watches wondering whether to turn it in for the day and try again tomorrow, after all there is only so many games of street fighter two you can play before you start to look suspicious .
http://antisex.info/en/molester.htm
most of the sections are all very informative and rightly so but one deals with the category of THE ATTITUDE OF CHILD MOLESTERS and excerpts of the page go as follows.
The kinds of traps he sets for your children -and where he sets them.
" The most often used traps include asking for help,finding a lost puppy carrying books and groceries or asking for directions. Young children are lured by money toys candy or promises of puppies or kittens older children by drugs money or alcohol , or even promises of movie careers"
Just how many real bona fide peedos do you know that actually use the line do you want to come see my puppies? me? none that's right none zilch zero, i especially do not know any who claim to be fucking Steven Spielberg, this is either a horrifying statistic or a very bad stereo type of a child molester.
" hey , kid stick with me I'm gonna make you a star, sign on the dotted line kid me and you lets make movies straighhhht to the top yes sir" would say Steven whilst twiddling a giant cigar in his mouth like one of the twatting Marx brothers, " OK but what about the puppies sweets and kittens MR S.?" would say the child, "never mind that boy I'm making E.T 2 so get in the fucking basket" .
Its just not very fucking likely is it?
Id be far more inclined to be believe he was setting real traps to catch them ones with big sharp steel jaws that clang shut and rip the kids legs off at the knee, bear pits, fuck knows giant mouse traps maybe , what i do know is kids ain't interested in fluffy kittens and sweeties.
An abductor preys upon children who-
takes short cuts to school
looks depressed
are loners
appear unkempt neglected or unsupervised
and frequent video arcades
Oh yeah very likely , how many kids actually use arcades any more since the induction of the junior predator drone simulation system concept X box live, all i can imagine here is an arcade chocka block full of peedos looking furtively around and at their watches wondering whether to turn it in for the day and try again tomorrow, after all there is only so many games of street fighter two you can play before you start to look suspicious .
http://antisex.info/en/molester.htm
the good old days
I here by declare that every young adolescent males first leisure time experience with his old fella, should be named a Jon Venables............ i still remember the day i took the little chap by the hand and lead him down the tracks
Sunday, 6 June 2010
couldnt score in a gay bar
I have a keen interest in old addages and sayings and what not, and although the saying "couldn't score in a gay bar" is hardly pulled from the pages of Chaucer or a Shakespearean farce, it would seem nonetheless that it rings true.In fact to prove the point, the other day with a friend of mine on a perfectly innocent man date in which we consumed an equal amount of alcohol and food in seemingly straight surroundings and with a light but generous sprinkling of a herb we found ourselves, still corpus mentus well after normal "heterosexual" trading hours that is, so we decided to stay out until the evening or morning ran its course.
I for one, and I'm pretty I'm sure he too had never frequented the popular gay bars of the city and decided why not we can hang with those cats surely we might even get chatted up and play hard to get with those hipsters, how could we fail? we knew all the terminology the freaky kids were using these days we were surely with it Man.
Unfortunately after 45 minutes of very unrealistic and unconvincing stroking of each others shoulders and half hearted attempts at grabbing each others nipples in the vain hope the regulars would mistake us for one of their own. We realised that its not that easy to score in a gay bar, although there was at one point a male wandering about the place with his top off ,up and down the thoroughfares with great intent and on passing our awkwardly reserved "butch" table he flicked a screwed up beer label sitting on the edge of our base camp, which hit me clean in the face after ricocheting of my hand at first i thought this was a definite come on but on later retrospection and reflection, i think he just thought look at these twats, but the last laugh was on him because it got fucking chilly that evening and i didn't see his friends holding what upper garment he had left the house with and will now no doubt be ruing the day he flamed away his colourful sweater or such.
The only realistic chance or so i thought of saving my somewhat warped pride in the evening was when i was tapped on the shoulder in the lavatories whereupon i thought to myself "oi oi here we go" time to give this wee man the thanks but no thanks routine and suavely walk out of the bogs like a gay pin up, his disappointment was palpable as i shook the residue of my old chap and turned to take my adoration only to be greeted with the come on" excuse me mate is this your fiver?"
I for one, and I'm pretty I'm sure he too had never frequented the popular gay bars of the city and decided why not we can hang with those cats surely we might even get chatted up and play hard to get with those hipsters, how could we fail? we knew all the terminology the freaky kids were using these days we were surely with it Man.
Unfortunately after 45 minutes of very unrealistic and unconvincing stroking of each others shoulders and half hearted attempts at grabbing each others nipples in the vain hope the regulars would mistake us for one of their own. We realised that its not that easy to score in a gay bar, although there was at one point a male wandering about the place with his top off ,up and down the thoroughfares with great intent and on passing our awkwardly reserved "butch" table he flicked a screwed up beer label sitting on the edge of our base camp, which hit me clean in the face after ricocheting of my hand at first i thought this was a definite come on but on later retrospection and reflection, i think he just thought look at these twats, but the last laugh was on him because it got fucking chilly that evening and i didn't see his friends holding what upper garment he had left the house with and will now no doubt be ruing the day he flamed away his colourful sweater or such.
The only realistic chance or so i thought of saving my somewhat warped pride in the evening was when i was tapped on the shoulder in the lavatories whereupon i thought to myself "oi oi here we go" time to give this wee man the thanks but no thanks routine and suavely walk out of the bogs like a gay pin up, his disappointment was palpable as i shook the residue of my old chap and turned to take my adoration only to be greeted with the come on" excuse me mate is this your fiver?"
living in a box
Imagine if you will that you your in a room, and this room is approximately 60 years across maybe a little more maybe a little less, but the room has a definite boundary which you cannot escape, beside you is a magic box 60 years deep with all possibilities of wonderful experience inside which cannot be moved or taken with you, now imagine that you can see infinitesimal distances within these boundaries with crystal clarity using the power of perception you can see a psychopathic crazed killer with immense strength no reasoning skills and no compassion whatsoever for you or anything around you, it is a certainty that this "thing" is going to end your existence is this realm, and you have but the time it takes this harbinger of doom to travel the distance to where you are now. would you upon seeing him and realizing the danger turn to run and keep running until you hit the boundaries of the room? or would you sit calmly spend a little time contemplating what may be in store for you? and then when you have finally have come to terms with your dilema and you have your answers find yourself free and able to amuse yourself with all the glorious contents of this box.
Imagine all these questions and ideas put forward imagine imagine imagine....... now stop imagining.
Imagine all these questions and ideas put forward imagine imagine imagine....... now stop imagining.
Thursday, 3 June 2010
cant be too careful
Through my twenties i developed a massive drug addiction mostly down to trying to chemically neuter my self so as not to have to deal with the joys of being a parent, this however presents problems as it can kill you, so now i have ditched the party lifestyle and avoid female genitalia altogether, i mostly stay at home now and masturbate into a plastic bag instead of my bed sheets and curtains as i still have the deep rooted fear i might get my mother pregnant when she launders my linen.
FAIRYTALES
Why is it that during our formative years do we get forced fed tidal waves of shit, stories about princesses and princes, goblins and wizards, bedtime stories about pigs and wolfs and greedy little bitches who break and enter your home, eat all your food and fuck off for a lie down while your out with the rest of the family having a nice day pretending to be fucking bears in the woods, why not keep it real? why do we think that children to learn a moral lesson need a world of fantasy to understand right from wrong or good and evil which by the way the concept of in itself completely false.
For example take the Hans christian Anderson classic Hansel and Gretel, all loosely based around a pair of kids i think, who get enticed into a old hags home a witch even, i forget the exact tale , and this house happens to be made of candy and gingerbread, to cut a long story short the little fuckers end up eating her house so she eats them or something equally as fucking stupid , and as i said why delude the poor little buggers,tell them like it is for example
"sweets will rot your teeth that's a given , got it kid? you following? and if an old man or woman claims to have a house made of sweeties and if you go with them you can have all you can eat, don't for one second think they are luring you back there so she can put you in a big pot and eat you all up for supper, no no no, the likely hood is they're going to strip you down to your birthday suit slip you into a bathing costume and take numerous Polaroid pictures of you while they wait for their my space friends to arrive so they take it in turn to rape every hole the universe ever gave you and maybe cut a few more besides"
" the universe daddy ? didn't Jesus and his daddy give me those? "
"no but we will cover that later , lets just say your personal god is defunct and the universe is essentially playful and a bit of a piss taker"
"then my son/daughter you will be dismembered put in Morrison's carrier bags and buried in woods, so what have we learnt from this today"
"not to take sweets from strangers daddy"
"no no no take the fuckers but never get greedy or you will end up with a rectum like maradonnas septum"
"ooh daddy that was good can we have another"
THE THREE LITTLE PIGS
" right kids , one day you will leave home and wont have enough money to rent by yourself so you will get into some house share nonsense living with two other ingrates , and if some cunt knocks on your door saying let me in let me in, don't cower in the corner until the fucker blows your house down head straight to the kitchen knife draw , then head outside and rupture his femoral artery and tell him to piss off and take his clip board or bible with him "
" again again daddy"
"listen here you i haven't got all night you needy little fuckers, tomorrow il tell you about sleeping beauty and the perils of kissing people with sexually transmitted diseases, or maybe the one about dressing up in red capes and carrying baskets of fruit to grandmas house through the woods"
Sweet dreams life destroyer.
For example take the Hans christian Anderson classic Hansel and Gretel, all loosely based around a pair of kids i think, who get enticed into a old hags home a witch even, i forget the exact tale , and this house happens to be made of candy and gingerbread, to cut a long story short the little fuckers end up eating her house so she eats them or something equally as fucking stupid , and as i said why delude the poor little buggers,tell them like it is for example
"sweets will rot your teeth that's a given , got it kid? you following? and if an old man or woman claims to have a house made of sweeties and if you go with them you can have all you can eat, don't for one second think they are luring you back there so she can put you in a big pot and eat you all up for supper, no no no, the likely hood is they're going to strip you down to your birthday suit slip you into a bathing costume and take numerous Polaroid pictures of you while they wait for their my space friends to arrive so they take it in turn to rape every hole the universe ever gave you and maybe cut a few more besides"
" the universe daddy ? didn't Jesus and his daddy give me those? "
"no but we will cover that later , lets just say your personal god is defunct and the universe is essentially playful and a bit of a piss taker"
"then my son/daughter you will be dismembered put in Morrison's carrier bags and buried in woods, so what have we learnt from this today"
"not to take sweets from strangers daddy"
"no no no take the fuckers but never get greedy or you will end up with a rectum like maradonnas septum"
"ooh daddy that was good can we have another"
THE THREE LITTLE PIGS
" right kids , one day you will leave home and wont have enough money to rent by yourself so you will get into some house share nonsense living with two other ingrates , and if some cunt knocks on your door saying let me in let me in, don't cower in the corner until the fucker blows your house down head straight to the kitchen knife draw , then head outside and rupture his femoral artery and tell him to piss off and take his clip board or bible with him "
" again again daddy"
"listen here you i haven't got all night you needy little fuckers, tomorrow il tell you about sleeping beauty and the perils of kissing people with sexually transmitted diseases, or maybe the one about dressing up in red capes and carrying baskets of fruit to grandmas house through the woods"
Sweet dreams life destroyer.
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
Kendall fruit cake ( and yes i know it never happened in kendall but kendalls in cumbria and it will be good enough for the daily mirror)
a tragic shooting in cumbria today has left 13 dead including the gunman, i have no doubt that the tabloids tomorrow will lead with the headline " gunman in Kevlar/Kendall" or some other such erroneous link that they invariably come up with to sell their rag.
A police spokesman on ITN news has asked any of us who may have any information on Mr Derrick Bird's movements today to contact them, which is all very well but i fail to understand what insight they hope to gain about this tragic episode from knowing the size weight colour and girth of his morning stool.
A police spokesman on ITN news has asked any of us who may have any information on Mr Derrick Bird's movements today to contact them, which is all very well but i fail to understand what insight they hope to gain about this tragic episode from knowing the size weight colour and girth of his morning stool.
monkeys and monoliths
I think that even if the dark looming future of trans humanism comes about where human beings are combined with machines and computers able to access every bit of information at the blink of an eye like a souped up stroke victim, the dribbling masses of the public will still choose a scart lead in the back of there heads that links up to their yummy yummy television,, to those of you in the know stop with all futile attempts to save humanity and just save yourself, for i fear the vast majority were lost long before now.
lets face it if a survey was taken in this country on whether they would take micro chips or not at least 90 percent of the populations reply would be " mm yes please pass the sauce"
lets face it if a survey was taken in this country on whether they would take micro chips or not at least 90 percent of the populations reply would be " mm yes please pass the sauce"
im your nick clegg
reckons not far in the distant future the name Nick Clegg will be a euphemism for being someones bitch in prison. " bend over Clegg , lets get liberal" .
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
the colour of funny
Duncan and David sit either side of a small downsyndrome boy called Edward in a non desscript public house, on a lounge seat which hugs the back wall directly facing a pool table. they have all put their initials on a small chalk board in a very english form of queuing for a game of pool.
David- remind me again duncan why are here babysitting a chap with downsyndrome?
Duncan- its his birthday.. and the boy likes pool.
David- hes not a boy dunc, hes a 40 odd year old man.
Duncan - 40 year old men my friend do not wear thomas the tank engine trainers.
David- well no your right, but grown men dont play video games 8 hours a day either Duncan , and a grown mans idea of saving for his future is not a box full of He-Man and star wars action toys stashed in a toys r us power rangers storage unit.
Duncan- well ok fair point , but look at his face thats the face of a teenager.
David- no mate, thats the face of a reproductive cell tragically going wrong at the genisis of his life.
Duncan- Bit glenn hoddle mate.
David- Glenn who?
Duncan- the footballer, and ex england manager, gave a statement declaring the reason why people start life with disabilities is that they have done something terrible in a former life, interesting theory actually.
David- there is only one person in this room mate who im beginning to think did soemthing wrong in past life mate and it aint Edward.
Duncan- he drinks like a fish dont he?hes costing me a packet in fosters, good job im gettin paid for this.
David- your getting paid?
Duncan- yeah course you remember i went for that job as a carer the other week? well i got it i now currently look after my friend here Mr Edward Thompson 5 nights out of seven a week thats why ive not been about much.
David- you look after him at night?
Duncan- wellllllll, this is the genius thing , the pay is so good i got myself two of them but i applied as different people for the two vacancies , i wore a disguise and everything.
David- jesusss mate thats gotta be against the law or something.... fraud of some sort, moonlighting at very least and why the hell do they need someone to see to his needs at night time surely he sleeps most of it.
Duncan- well my other customer billy does, hes all above board i feed his cats take him out for a stroll do some chores through the day all easy peasy but there aint enough hours in the day mate, not to do two of them anyway, so i sort of maybe erm adjusted Edwards routine slightly.
David- adjusted?
Duncan- yeah adjusted mate, tinkered, rearranged as it were, hes became quite the nightowl he sleeps all day comes alive at night, it works out perfectly for me , mind you its dam hard work still but its worth it.
David - let me get this straight, you have created a false identity to get two seprate jobs at the same company lookin after people with learning difficulties forcing one of them to become a creature of the night.
Duncan- force him? course i never forced him what do you take me for? , do you know how hard it is to get a chap like him to do what you want him to against his will?.
David- ok ok well i suppose thats something at least my god duncan your crazy.
Duncan- yeah I had to drug the little fucker though, nighttol mate nighttol on his frosties his spaghetti hoops everything he eats basically all at carefully worked out points in the day till his internal body clock was exactly how i needed it to fit my schedule. hes a regular little lost boy now he loves it and hes shit hot at pool ive been bringing him here to play pool for money all week im raking it in, like rain man with a weapon.
David-i cant be a party to this mate im sorry im off.
Duncan- no matey its fine, hes fine, we are fucking fine! just help me out he gets a bit of a handful ,talk to him or something its nearly his turn on the table.
David- im not so sure really i have slightly less illegal activities to be gettin on with at home like going hme to read a book on taosim or raping a farm yard animal.
Duncan - its fine mate whos gona find out just talk to him until its his turn then we will leave i promise, he loves movies he has a collection that would put blockbusters to shame DVDs everywhere in his gaff
David - he does know that collecting dvds is futile as they will become defunct soon when the next genration of home cinema comes along to claim our expendable income.
Duncan- its ok just keep asking him if he likes harry potter and all will be sweet.
Just then a voice from the other side of the bar murmurs " whos up next?" " which one of you boys is E.T ?".
The previously unstirred and silent Edward Thompson raise his finger towards the man as if to answer his question as the theme from a well known classic little lost alien moving picture show plays as if from nowhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O15x-B8PgeE
David and Duncan just turn to look at each other.
Duncan- you got a fifty pence piece mate?
David- yeah why?
DAVID HANDS DUNC THE MONEY BEWILDERED
Duncan- WATCH THIS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzJZTwFYKv4
Duncan heads to the juke box sldies the firty pence piece in with a clunk and the opening bars of eric claptons "its in the way that you use it" form the motion picture soundtrack to the colour of money, Edward clears up like fast eddy Fulson to much comedy guffaw end scene.
David- remind me again duncan why are here babysitting a chap with downsyndrome?
Duncan- its his birthday.. and the boy likes pool.
David- hes not a boy dunc, hes a 40 odd year old man.
Duncan - 40 year old men my friend do not wear thomas the tank engine trainers.
David- well no your right, but grown men dont play video games 8 hours a day either Duncan , and a grown mans idea of saving for his future is not a box full of He-Man and star wars action toys stashed in a toys r us power rangers storage unit.
Duncan- well ok fair point , but look at his face thats the face of a teenager.
David- no mate, thats the face of a reproductive cell tragically going wrong at the genisis of his life.
Duncan- Bit glenn hoddle mate.
David- Glenn who?
Duncan- the footballer, and ex england manager, gave a statement declaring the reason why people start life with disabilities is that they have done something terrible in a former life, interesting theory actually.
David- there is only one person in this room mate who im beginning to think did soemthing wrong in past life mate and it aint Edward.
Duncan- he drinks like a fish dont he?hes costing me a packet in fosters, good job im gettin paid for this.
David- your getting paid?
Duncan- yeah course you remember i went for that job as a carer the other week? well i got it i now currently look after my friend here Mr Edward Thompson 5 nights out of seven a week thats why ive not been about much.
David- you look after him at night?
Duncan- wellllllll, this is the genius thing , the pay is so good i got myself two of them but i applied as different people for the two vacancies , i wore a disguise and everything.
David- jesusss mate thats gotta be against the law or something.... fraud of some sort, moonlighting at very least and why the hell do they need someone to see to his needs at night time surely he sleeps most of it.
Duncan- well my other customer billy does, hes all above board i feed his cats take him out for a stroll do some chores through the day all easy peasy but there aint enough hours in the day mate, not to do two of them anyway, so i sort of maybe erm adjusted Edwards routine slightly.
David- adjusted?
Duncan- yeah adjusted mate, tinkered, rearranged as it were, hes became quite the nightowl he sleeps all day comes alive at night, it works out perfectly for me , mind you its dam hard work still but its worth it.
David - let me get this straight, you have created a false identity to get two seprate jobs at the same company lookin after people with learning difficulties forcing one of them to become a creature of the night.
Duncan- force him? course i never forced him what do you take me for? , do you know how hard it is to get a chap like him to do what you want him to against his will?.
David- ok ok well i suppose thats something at least my god duncan your crazy.
Duncan- yeah I had to drug the little fucker though, nighttol mate nighttol on his frosties his spaghetti hoops everything he eats basically all at carefully worked out points in the day till his internal body clock was exactly how i needed it to fit my schedule. hes a regular little lost boy now he loves it and hes shit hot at pool ive been bringing him here to play pool for money all week im raking it in, like rain man with a weapon.
David-i cant be a party to this mate im sorry im off.
Duncan- no matey its fine, hes fine, we are fucking fine! just help me out he gets a bit of a handful ,talk to him or something its nearly his turn on the table.
David- im not so sure really i have slightly less illegal activities to be gettin on with at home like going hme to read a book on taosim or raping a farm yard animal.
Duncan - its fine mate whos gona find out just talk to him until its his turn then we will leave i promise, he loves movies he has a collection that would put blockbusters to shame DVDs everywhere in his gaff
David - he does know that collecting dvds is futile as they will become defunct soon when the next genration of home cinema comes along to claim our expendable income.
Duncan- its ok just keep asking him if he likes harry potter and all will be sweet.
Just then a voice from the other side of the bar murmurs " whos up next?" " which one of you boys is E.T ?".
The previously unstirred and silent Edward Thompson raise his finger towards the man as if to answer his question as the theme from a well known classic little lost alien moving picture show plays as if from nowhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O15x-B8PgeE
David and Duncan just turn to look at each other.
Duncan- you got a fifty pence piece mate?
David- yeah why?
DAVID HANDS DUNC THE MONEY BEWILDERED
Duncan- WATCH THIS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzJZTwFYKv4
Duncan heads to the juke box sldies the firty pence piece in with a clunk and the opening bars of eric claptons "its in the way that you use it" form the motion picture soundtrack to the colour of money, Edward clears up like fast eddy Fulson to much comedy guffaw end scene.
Monday, 31 May 2010
Unemployed ? how disgusting.
I'm well aware that in this modern age a "job" is the equivalent of hunting and gathering and necessary to survive, but what i cannot accept is mind controlled hoards of the hive telling me how awful i am and how i must contribute to society.
Well I'm sorry but i need not contribute to anything at all cock suckers, I'm everything i need or will ever need to be, and i contribute all i will ever need to contribute to this intelligent universe , in fact it loves me just the way i am, the way i see it is i expel carbon dioxide which plants in turn breathe, i am part of a living breathing organism i am not one separate thing, i am a cell in the whole, a cog in the machine of nature, just as a tree or a plant expels the oxygen i need, thus creating a symbiosis of co existence.
so in reply to your demands on my time on this transient plain, i put it to you, when you go around every tree and every plant and make it wear a stupid uniform for 8 hours a day and serve me burgers then and only then will i " contribute" to your "society" in the way you see fit.
Well I'm sorry but i need not contribute to anything at all cock suckers, I'm everything i need or will ever need to be, and i contribute all i will ever need to contribute to this intelligent universe , in fact it loves me just the way i am, the way i see it is i expel carbon dioxide which plants in turn breathe, i am part of a living breathing organism i am not one separate thing, i am a cell in the whole, a cog in the machine of nature, just as a tree or a plant expels the oxygen i need, thus creating a symbiosis of co existence.
so in reply to your demands on my time on this transient plain, i put it to you, when you go around every tree and every plant and make it wear a stupid uniform for 8 hours a day and serve me burgers then and only then will i " contribute" to your "society" in the way you see fit.
dont mention it
Life must be a veritable mine field if your German never being able to raise your hand above a 45 degree angle.
we have built Jerusalem
Its four years on again and how quickly it passes,the Jules Rimet trophy is up for grabs once more ,the pinnacle of many a chimpanzees life.The flag sucking hoards are out in force, flying the flag of st George from their German motor cars as they excitedly rush home to lounge on their Swedish furniture drinking their Belgian beer to watch and worship modern day knights in Bangladeshi sweatshop stitched nylon shorts on unnecessary Japanese wide screen vision quest machines, nestled amongst their trinkets all stamped with the moniker made in china , feel that pride suck that flag come on England!!! its so fucking great to be English..... isn't it?
Friday, 23 April 2010
baseball woo
Ive just watched an internet video masquerading as news, where in people seemed amazed that a man jumped over another man to score a point it, wowed the american public, thing is we have a game just like it over here in the uk,we call it rounders, and guess what shitkickers its for little girls.
Thursday, 22 April 2010
sonic sound weapon
Duncan as he invariably always is,is researching,and todays dirt digging is harp and the weaponization of sound, but more pressingly he has an ongoing audio problem the recording of that is,, from his internal mic which does not seem to pick up anything below a scream which makes attention seeking via the medium of a webcam difficult if not impossible> start menu- search= audio control panel internal mic,ACOUSTIC ECHO CANCELLATION(ECHO STOP)?,NOSIE CANCELLATION (PURE AUDIO)?, these two choices that lay before him ,might have been, he thought the answer to his sound saga which has gone on since his mummy a year ago, bought him this new fangled porn library where the books are never used long enough to be over due .
Although Cyber savvy Duncan rarely allowed himself to escape the fluffy prison that was go ogles home page everything he ever needed intellectually at the touch of button, this was "insanely clever people country",he thought, he was! the tourist.
But which one would he choose? , A or B? whilst he pondered his decision a radio from the back of the room filled the air with the dirge of a man loosely speaking that is, who is known by the alias James Morrison despite constant attempts by him to personally to hide the fact his real name is Mr twat, from twat head land.
the nauseating waffle that was washing over Duncan making him seethe with disgust that he had to listen to it, as the radio producing it was way way over the other side of the room making reaching it impossible he thought,impossible that is without least a days supply of food and water and some strong sturdy hiking boots he truly was a lazy bastard, he mused amused. the wave of shit was clouding his already lacking judgement, and so before plumping for the eeny Meany Minny mo, he cranked up all levels to infinity ,and then hit the echo cancellation tick box..... nothing.... no play back" well it must be the pure audio" in fact he smiled and said a knowing "of course" well pure audio sounded quite nice didn't it? you can imagine being bathed in pure sunshine choirs of angels sitting on pure white light producing melodies that make you orgasm or shit your self depending on your mood, pure audio indeed seemed the obvious choice.
The sound was fairly innocuous at first a pleasant shrill echoed for all of three and a half seconds until, "fucking hell, that's not normal that's definitely not normal" the shriek of pure white noise or whatever the term was for the excruciating all enveloping sonic blast which was being aimed directly at his reptilian brain.
He recoiled from the laptop unable to get more than one metre away from the Compaq's death throws, it had been a whole minute now and the sound was peeling away layers of Duncan's brain like a hairy Terry's chocolate orange, his D.N.A morphing into something else something unsubstantial, splitting into confetti around him and still the twat played on, ironically high above the pure noise wailing on about how curly his hair is and why he loves some tart he cant have, it transcended, it could be that maybe James Morrison's recordings were the very key to hyper dimensional travel, it seemed possible.Or maybe it was all some CIA mind fuck brainwashing technique to persuade him to murder the net JFK that comes along anytime you hear middle of the road twat bile.
and as an axe hits the laptop duncan hits the floor. t.b.c
Although Cyber savvy Duncan rarely allowed himself to escape the fluffy prison that was go ogles home page everything he ever needed intellectually at the touch of button, this was "insanely clever people country",he thought, he was! the tourist.
But which one would he choose? , A or B? whilst he pondered his decision a radio from the back of the room filled the air with the dirge of a man loosely speaking that is, who is known by the alias James Morrison despite constant attempts by him to personally to hide the fact his real name is Mr twat, from twat head land.
the nauseating waffle that was washing over Duncan making him seethe with disgust that he had to listen to it, as the radio producing it was way way over the other side of the room making reaching it impossible he thought,impossible that is without least a days supply of food and water and some strong sturdy hiking boots he truly was a lazy bastard, he mused amused. the wave of shit was clouding his already lacking judgement, and so before plumping for the eeny Meany Minny mo, he cranked up all levels to infinity ,and then hit the echo cancellation tick box..... nothing.... no play back" well it must be the pure audio" in fact he smiled and said a knowing "of course" well pure audio sounded quite nice didn't it? you can imagine being bathed in pure sunshine choirs of angels sitting on pure white light producing melodies that make you orgasm or shit your self depending on your mood, pure audio indeed seemed the obvious choice.
The sound was fairly innocuous at first a pleasant shrill echoed for all of three and a half seconds until, "fucking hell, that's not normal that's definitely not normal" the shriek of pure white noise or whatever the term was for the excruciating all enveloping sonic blast which was being aimed directly at his reptilian brain.
He recoiled from the laptop unable to get more than one metre away from the Compaq's death throws, it had been a whole minute now and the sound was peeling away layers of Duncan's brain like a hairy Terry's chocolate orange, his D.N.A morphing into something else something unsubstantial, splitting into confetti around him and still the twat played on, ironically high above the pure noise wailing on about how curly his hair is and why he loves some tart he cant have, it transcended, it could be that maybe James Morrison's recordings were the very key to hyper dimensional travel, it seemed possible.Or maybe it was all some CIA mind fuck brainwashing technique to persuade him to murder the net JFK that comes along anytime you hear middle of the road twat bile.
and as an axe hits the laptop duncan hits the floor. t.b.c
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
synopsis of male A
In the back room of a shop front in a back alley, a jail palloured male slouches on a couch, face lit only by his Trojan horse infected laptop perching on an old NHS hospital bed table,and the flare from an unprescribed medicinal cigarette made visible an array of whole sale T shirts ready to be metamorphosed into Geo political art along with undefined whiteboards fit for any C.S.I style homicide investigation, Duncan macvitie had gone hyper space long ago clearly some break down had occurred some cataclysmic nervous system neutron bomb which left the body seemingly undamaged but the mind staring deep into the abyss that was truth and the search for it " it lies within himself" he thought, and it did, but a price to pay for opening Pandora's box is you can never come back sometimes the truth isn't always appealing..., although ultimately all truth is fundamentally good.
Upon one of the many white boards and pin charts Duncan had adorning his wall, a very intricate and elaborate brainstorming picture covering at least one whole wall, seemed to list every mysterious , suspicious, esoteric, scientific and sociological question ever posed or unposed, all leading with thick indelible red marker lines to one central answer and resolution to these problems, which ironically was symbolised with the aide of an actual question mark. "answers lead to more questions, its always fractal", he often reminded himself, "everything is fucking! fractal" "cunts" he didn't know which fluffy long eared beast had had dug this rabbit hole or if he would ever reach the end in his lifetime, whoever "he" was.
PROFILE.............
Name - Duncan Macvitie
Age- 29 . 999999999999
Occupation- truther, god, sometimes revolutionary, ethical screen printer and one part of a pirate radio Internet and short wave radio show for all things conspiracy based
Relationships- is sporadically haunted by the events of his twenties and the ill choices of relationships so chooses abstinence like a zen master.
Interests- more obsessions, the meaning of life, life after death, life before death and everything in between from collapsing towers to pointless wars , old new technologies,and made up words, ancient civilizations to alien , hyper dimensional beings , human beings, and their doings, and wrong doings especially those. the esoteric, the material world in all its wonders and woes.
Upon one of the many white boards and pin charts Duncan had adorning his wall, a very intricate and elaborate brainstorming picture covering at least one whole wall, seemed to list every mysterious , suspicious, esoteric, scientific and sociological question ever posed or unposed, all leading with thick indelible red marker lines to one central answer and resolution to these problems, which ironically was symbolised with the aide of an actual question mark. "answers lead to more questions, its always fractal", he often reminded himself, "everything is fucking! fractal" "cunts" he didn't know which fluffy long eared beast had had dug this rabbit hole or if he would ever reach the end in his lifetime, whoever "he" was.
PROFILE.............
Name - Duncan Macvitie
Age- 29 . 999999999999
Occupation- truther, god, sometimes revolutionary, ethical screen printer and one part of a pirate radio Internet and short wave radio show for all things conspiracy based
Relationships- is sporadically haunted by the events of his twenties and the ill choices of relationships so chooses abstinence like a zen master.
Interests- more obsessions, the meaning of life, life after death, life before death and everything in between from collapsing towers to pointless wars , old new technologies,and made up words, ancient civilizations to alien , hyper dimensional beings , human beings, and their doings, and wrong doings especially those. the esoteric, the material world in all its wonders and woes.
Saturday, 10 April 2010
.
Now OK I'm a "conspiracy" nut i believe that in this world, groups of powerful individuals conspire against "us" the people for their own aims and agenda, why do people find that so hard to believe? i ask you is it so inconceivable? maybe if you took your head out of that KFC family bucket on a typically dull Saturday night and stopped violating your self as soon as you catch a glimpse of the new peoples princess Cheryl Cole you'd be better placed to understand what the fuck is going on around you as weird and far fetched as it may seem its the same shit you buy into in your Hollywood movies they so readily prepare for your tidy wrapped up minds, your so fucking branded you'd have the Nike swoosh as a tattoo if some cunt in a magazine wore it your rimming the devils ring piece and you fucking love it slave.
Now I'm not trying to be funny here or make some very clever point I'm just putting into writing the turn of events which have left me gobsmacked beyond belief and believe me i wade through so much weird wonderful and often false facts about conspiracies and the so called "truth" movement everyday.
A few weeks ago i was reading about even in this state of economic melt down surprisingly the country of Poland was fairing quite well economic wise they were showing signs of major growth , i mean they were really managing those books well, they were borrowing cheaply and they were the only country in the EU last year to register economic growth, which surely must upset those who secretly have been bringing all the worlds currencies into melt down to bring about a world currency which in turn would usher in world governance, if in fact we are not already residing under that dark dark black cloud of fascism already.
but to cut a long tale short(and your more than free to go look for your self)
Imagine my shock when tonight i learn of a plane crash , an accident i presume, which has tragically killed the flourishing leader of Poland alas not only that but his army chief, his deputy foreign minister,his central bank governor and scores of officials and legislators, and not to forget his wife and the crew.
I do find that truly an odd coincidence but then i would as I'm a "conspiracy" nut, that shit doesn't happen does it? governments have never executed or asassinated other political officials when it didn't fit into their plans fuck it that's right Jack Kennedy was shot by some cunt who didn't like gingers , maybe I'm wrong but what i will say is id rather have twenty free thoughts a day that were wrong but at the same time true to my beliefs.
Now I'm not trying to be funny here or make some very clever point I'm just putting into writing the turn of events which have left me gobsmacked beyond belief and believe me i wade through so much weird wonderful and often false facts about conspiracies and the so called "truth" movement everyday.
A few weeks ago i was reading about even in this state of economic melt down surprisingly the country of Poland was fairing quite well economic wise they were showing signs of major growth , i mean they were really managing those books well, they were borrowing cheaply and they were the only country in the EU last year to register economic growth, which surely must upset those who secretly have been bringing all the worlds currencies into melt down to bring about a world currency which in turn would usher in world governance, if in fact we are not already residing under that dark dark black cloud of fascism already.
but to cut a long tale short(and your more than free to go look for your self)
Imagine my shock when tonight i learn of a plane crash , an accident i presume, which has tragically killed the flourishing leader of Poland alas not only that but his army chief, his deputy foreign minister,his central bank governor and scores of officials and legislators, and not to forget his wife and the crew.
I do find that truly an odd coincidence but then i would as I'm a "conspiracy" nut, that shit doesn't happen does it? governments have never executed or asassinated other political officials when it didn't fit into their plans fuck it that's right Jack Kennedy was shot by some cunt who didn't like gingers , maybe I'm wrong but what i will say is id rather have twenty free thoughts a day that were wrong but at the same time true to my beliefs.
Thursday, 1 April 2010
a poem of lost love
I used to have a squirter she dowsed me with her goo,
i thunk that they were common place and everyone knew a few,
sadly i was wrong though, they are extemely rare , its looks as though i will for go that shampoo in my hair.
but those days they are gone now alas they're sadly missed, as she made a handy toilet too when i was busting for a piss.
(im refering to how much of a dirty cunt she was)
i thunk that they were common place and everyone knew a few,
sadly i was wrong though, they are extemely rare , its looks as though i will for go that shampoo in my hair.
but those days they are gone now alas they're sadly missed, as she made a handy toilet too when i was busting for a piss.
(im refering to how much of a dirty cunt she was)
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
...........
The latest group created for psychotic sheeple on face book goes a little something like this
Joe bloggs joined the group " find out who slashed Ian Huntley's, and buy him a pint"
It does not surprise me that the mind controlled zombies all baying for any kind of blood and hate they can lay their damaged little minds on, have missed one really quite important error in the thinking of this little vigilante meeting of kins. Being that Mr Huntley is a deranged child killing pervert , and on that fact we can all agree.But what the vengeful masses haven't considered that for his crimes the said man was imprisoned in ward or prison for very very sick individuals who have committed very very sick crimes many of which against children, so what essentially this group is saying reward the less famous paedophile with free alcoholic beverages for slashing the super star child killers neck, hmm its so pleasing to see well balanced opinions and arguments put forward in this day in age it makes me feel all warm inside.
Are we that damaged as a society that along with our idol worship of sport pop and movie stars that we start adding celebrity death match paedophile in as a form of entertainment? fuck me , these people wont be happy til the legal and justice system is entirely based around a running man style game show where shoplifters mass murderers, kiddy fiddlers, and persistent urinating in a public space offenders are all sent into a warehouse strewn with weapons and torture devices.
"come on Myra you fat cunt, pick up the axe and hit him I've got money on you bitch, whats your problem hes a midget in a mad max style grid iron helmet, id bet you'd hit him if he had a school uniform on wouldnt you, do it do it dooooooo it aaarrrrrgghhhhh"
The crowd would roar
fuck you facebookers you boil my piss with your ignorance, i warn you over and over of the perils , i try to help you, and still you choose hate well no more I'm gone.
Joe bloggs joined the group " find out who slashed Ian Huntley's, and buy him a pint"
It does not surprise me that the mind controlled zombies all baying for any kind of blood and hate they can lay their damaged little minds on, have missed one really quite important error in the thinking of this little vigilante meeting of kins. Being that Mr Huntley is a deranged child killing pervert , and on that fact we can all agree.But what the vengeful masses haven't considered that for his crimes the said man was imprisoned in ward or prison for very very sick individuals who have committed very very sick crimes many of which against children, so what essentially this group is saying reward the less famous paedophile with free alcoholic beverages for slashing the super star child killers neck, hmm its so pleasing to see well balanced opinions and arguments put forward in this day in age it makes me feel all warm inside.
Are we that damaged as a society that along with our idol worship of sport pop and movie stars that we start adding celebrity death match paedophile in as a form of entertainment? fuck me , these people wont be happy til the legal and justice system is entirely based around a running man style game show where shoplifters mass murderers, kiddy fiddlers, and persistent urinating in a public space offenders are all sent into a warehouse strewn with weapons and torture devices.
"come on Myra you fat cunt, pick up the axe and hit him I've got money on you bitch, whats your problem hes a midget in a mad max style grid iron helmet, id bet you'd hit him if he had a school uniform on wouldnt you, do it do it dooooooo it aaarrrrrgghhhhh"
The crowd would roar
fuck you facebookers you boil my piss with your ignorance, i warn you over and over of the perils , i try to help you, and still you choose hate well no more I'm gone.
Monday, 22 March 2010
a weekend.... having it mild ....day 1
Arrived promptly , too promptly, kill time, with the wind killing my hair, i must enter I'm going solo. Two pints ordered, shit i look mental i muttered to myself, whilst a voice in my head calmed me saying "yes Marc you do, but not because you bought a pint for your imaginary friend, its the hair dude its the hair" i remarked how much of a cheeky fucking bastard my inner me was becoming, so i fucked him off and headed to the fruit machine.
The big flashy box made me conjure images of a ambitious tramp who's wrapped him self in fairy lights as a way of amusing me while demanding my coinage. The tramps ploy works. fifteen minutes spent trying to win back money i had in the first place seemed reasonable to me, the man arrives.
We settle pleasantries achieved, i notice a man not dissimilar to Gandalf but dressed in Jeremy Clarkson all over denim ensemble with a stuffed toy rabbit peeping out of his groovy grandad jacket he leaves bar but not before smiling at me oddly and knowingly, and the irrational me tells me he is my future self sent through time with a toy rabbit for some reason, to warn me of my impending doom due to a fracture in the fabric of space time, but he says nothing and exits.
We down a solitary pint of black liquid and head for the cosmic surroundings of the mans home and more importantly his kitchen.
RECIPE FOR EVENING
one liberated bottle of reasonable red wine
several lightly laced illicit cigarettes
a book of zen koans
and a never ending supply of corn based snacks, good conversation and company.
jazz albums
We dust off all ingredients whilst deciphering at least three zen koans as a dessert, exquisite cheese on toast made from the finest wholemeal bread Israeli tomatoes dressed in olive oil. Success.
shattered from being so dam civilized, head to bed.
bed turns out to be a sleeping bag and a hallway, i felt like a faithful old guard dog but comfy, and had to admire the mans no nonsense approach to to the hotelier trade. What will tommorrow bring? i wondered and hid my head from the ghosts that live on the stairs.
The big flashy box made me conjure images of a ambitious tramp who's wrapped him self in fairy lights as a way of amusing me while demanding my coinage. The tramps ploy works. fifteen minutes spent trying to win back money i had in the first place seemed reasonable to me, the man arrives.
We settle pleasantries achieved, i notice a man not dissimilar to Gandalf but dressed in Jeremy Clarkson all over denim ensemble with a stuffed toy rabbit peeping out of his groovy grandad jacket he leaves bar but not before smiling at me oddly and knowingly, and the irrational me tells me he is my future self sent through time with a toy rabbit for some reason, to warn me of my impending doom due to a fracture in the fabric of space time, but he says nothing and exits.
We down a solitary pint of black liquid and head for the cosmic surroundings of the mans home and more importantly his kitchen.
RECIPE FOR EVENING
one liberated bottle of reasonable red wine
several lightly laced illicit cigarettes
a book of zen koans
and a never ending supply of corn based snacks, good conversation and company.
jazz albums
We dust off all ingredients whilst deciphering at least three zen koans as a dessert, exquisite cheese on toast made from the finest wholemeal bread Israeli tomatoes dressed in olive oil. Success.
shattered from being so dam civilized, head to bed.
bed turns out to be a sleeping bag and a hallway, i felt like a faithful old guard dog but comfy, and had to admire the mans no nonsense approach to to the hotelier trade. What will tommorrow bring? i wondered and hid my head from the ghosts that live on the stairs.
Thursday, 18 March 2010
hes the scrooge mcduck of chocolate
Although my home has always been a sugary zone always plenty of choccy treats and sweet like snacks,but ever since the arrival of my young nephew the amounts and variety have increased exponentially, more temptation with the words "leave them alone mind there the boys treats".
Always having to deny my urges because some juiced up toddler is stockpiling and hoarding his snacks with out sharing , its just so selfish.
Its now 2am I'm very stoned, I'm rummaging through the allowed section of the refrigerator and cupboards with no fruitful outcome, then i see his shelf and i think to myself fuck you , you selfish little bastard I'm having that jam tart you just fucking watch me gnommm gnommmm.
Always having to deny my urges because some juiced up toddler is stockpiling and hoarding his snacks with out sharing , its just so selfish.
Its now 2am I'm very stoned, I'm rummaging through the allowed section of the refrigerator and cupboards with no fruitful outcome, then i see his shelf and i think to myself fuck you , you selfish little bastard I'm having that jam tart you just fucking watch me gnommm gnommmm.
Friday, 12 March 2010
slacker
i reeked, i was in the company of my two primary carers, id been rumbled, my number was up, the cat had left the bag there was an odour eminating from me, a mix of some crazy weed with a moorish mozambiqe type flavour and the definite smell of bullshit of my own cultivation, no longer would the odd stint of household ironing or chores keep the curtain of normality protecting my fragile survive, survive, survive mentality, and they knew , they knew alright, i was no longer a son but some parasite that was riding the soft cushioned wave of parental responsibility, and all its luxury that came along with it, i was in their minds a bloodsucking tick and a let down, and indeed, i was.
No longer would making sure i swept my biscuit crumbs from my twentieth lazy coffee of the day off the kitchen work top keep my position of king of do nothings sustainable in this house any longer.
I remarked to myself curiously "how and why did it take them so long , and how and whyare the goverment not on to me yet"..... there was still time yet,and i reached for the lynx.
No longer would making sure i swept my biscuit crumbs from my twentieth lazy coffee of the day off the kitchen work top keep my position of king of do nothings sustainable in this house any longer.
I remarked to myself curiously "how and why did it take them so long , and how and whyare the goverment not on to me yet"..... there was still time yet,and i reached for the lynx.
squeeky cvnt
I was woken by the sound of rustling the other day at 2pm in the afternoon by banging and screeching on my window i opened my eyes and theres this squeegy, no man just a squeegy washing my windows i waited til the automatic squeegy had finished cleansing my view finder on the world, then took a secretive peek out to find a man with a telescopic pole with a squeegy on the end.
I deduced this to be my so called window cleaner, apparently they cant be bothered to climb ladders now to make sure they were doing a correct job on them, well listen mate!!! if i wanted my windows licked id do it myself, its a good job we all dont start adding poles to our chosen profession to make it easier, an open heart surgeon working from home with an incredibly long shaft with a scalple on it its just lazy , fuck i wouldnt mind a mile long pole myself,with my job seekers agreement card stuck to the end of it, you lazy lazy bastard.
I deduced this to be my so called window cleaner, apparently they cant be bothered to climb ladders now to make sure they were doing a correct job on them, well listen mate!!! if i wanted my windows licked id do it myself, its a good job we all dont start adding poles to our chosen profession to make it easier, an open heart surgeon working from home with an incredibly long shaft with a scalple on it its just lazy , fuck i wouldnt mind a mile long pole myself,with my job seekers agreement card stuck to the end of it, you lazy lazy bastard.
Thursday, 11 March 2010
video game nasties
Anyone who scoffs at the notion that violent video games are warping the minds of our youth should take heed, why only the other day after a 3 day stint on super mario brothers i woke from a deep sleep to find myself wearing dungarees, and came to awful realization id headbutted several bricks out of my supporting wall and stamped my family to death.
im only signing the guest book
I went into a mccdonalds the other day, and the counter assistant asked if i wanted fries with that ? i said no thank you but can you shut the door and pass the toilet roll.
its all relative
What happens if someone thinks a pound is dam reasonable price for a shopping trolley?????
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
mentally challenged
Why do people say you can " kill two birds with one stone" the way i see it is if there is people out there throwing stones at birds they clearly have more than two problems.
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
bulger basher
john venables psychiatrist has spoke out at his arrest saying, "we are well aware mr venables has been found with sexual images of children on his home computer but none of them contain pictures of infants being buggered on railway tracks and, we see that as a giant leap forward"
thats how i heard it anyway, there is also a outraged facebook group 100, 000 strong campaigning to keep my venables behind bars for the rest of his life, personally i think he was a half decent england manager.
thats how i heard it anyway, there is also a outraged facebook group 100, 000 strong campaigning to keep my venables behind bars for the rest of his life, personally i think he was a half decent england manager.
Friday, 5 March 2010
hes got our number... apparently
Christians are a strange bunch bless them....... on flicking on to one of my many dull and boring groups on facebook which happened to be the group for people who grew up in my childhood town of killingworth, this group was created so people can reminisce about the big concrete shithole when it used to be a more concretey shithole and lifeless thatcher britain ravaged town,happy days indeed.
And on there are photos of the old towers now demolished and many pictures of other things from the bygone era of this golden town.
There is also videos of a parade in 1988 which is around the time i was living there so i decided to have a peek, why not ?you hear yourself say, the parade was a myriad of different trucks and floats vehicles of all manner designed to represent that particular school or buisness, or social enterprise ,and twas all very jolly, innocent and blue peterish.
And a prime example of this was the jolly christians rolling into view on a big yellow topless bus, with a big banner reading " jesus, hes just the ticket" like some offish party political broadcast to get him re-elected, it was very slick il give the god squad that, all the elements were there, they were on a bus and the slogan to be burned into our sinning brains was "jesus hes just the ticket" it works as a concept on all levels , being as it only has one level to work on, is very much splitting hairs, it works i concur.
But if we look at this as if trying to convert people to faith, is like a political election battle, then all i see is that "god" in return for your vote is offering free super saver bus passes, this i feel appeals primarily to the old and infirm (what does infirm mean? i imagine it to be the possibility you might shit your trolleys without warning) but i do see where gods going with this he feels he neednt waste his time on the sinning youth he wants to get the coffin dodgers before they get sent downstairs where its warm.
I mean lets face it being a cute cuddly old cunt in 20 coats and a wooly hat does not mean your a shoe in for the jesus fest upstairs does it?, id love to see the look on some of their squashed faces as they die and go towards a beautiful light a soothing light relatives there to greet them only for a big shutter to come down and a kamikaze water park slide appears beneath with a strange red glow at the bottom , with them whining "hold on you cant send me down there im an nice old lady i ve been pretty good in my life" to which the devil replies" not good enough grandma so shut it and when you hit the bottom pick up the shovel and put those leather hotpants on daddy will be down soon theres another 4 coaches worth of you cunts coming its like a saga holiday in turkey down there".
So God although i admire you alistair campbell style spin doctoring, i feel you should be trying to appeal to the youth too beforeits too late and you lose them forever, because the way i see it is, if i have a choice between spending eternity with a shit load ofnaughty penioners, in hot pants digging holes in magma chambers or with you and the promise of nothing in particular but free bus travel i know which one im choosing ,do me a favour.
tell you what throw in an ipod and you got a deal.
And on there are photos of the old towers now demolished and many pictures of other things from the bygone era of this golden town.
There is also videos of a parade in 1988 which is around the time i was living there so i decided to have a peek, why not ?you hear yourself say, the parade was a myriad of different trucks and floats vehicles of all manner designed to represent that particular school or buisness, or social enterprise ,and twas all very jolly, innocent and blue peterish.
And a prime example of this was the jolly christians rolling into view on a big yellow topless bus, with a big banner reading " jesus, hes just the ticket" like some offish party political broadcast to get him re-elected, it was very slick il give the god squad that, all the elements were there, they were on a bus and the slogan to be burned into our sinning brains was "jesus hes just the ticket" it works as a concept on all levels , being as it only has one level to work on, is very much splitting hairs, it works i concur.
But if we look at this as if trying to convert people to faith, is like a political election battle, then all i see is that "god" in return for your vote is offering free super saver bus passes, this i feel appeals primarily to the old and infirm (what does infirm mean? i imagine it to be the possibility you might shit your trolleys without warning) but i do see where gods going with this he feels he neednt waste his time on the sinning youth he wants to get the coffin dodgers before they get sent downstairs where its warm.
I mean lets face it being a cute cuddly old cunt in 20 coats and a wooly hat does not mean your a shoe in for the jesus fest upstairs does it?, id love to see the look on some of their squashed faces as they die and go towards a beautiful light a soothing light relatives there to greet them only for a big shutter to come down and a kamikaze water park slide appears beneath with a strange red glow at the bottom , with them whining "hold on you cant send me down there im an nice old lady i ve been pretty good in my life" to which the devil replies" not good enough grandma so shut it and when you hit the bottom pick up the shovel and put those leather hotpants on daddy will be down soon theres another 4 coaches worth of you cunts coming its like a saga holiday in turkey down there".
So God although i admire you alistair campbell style spin doctoring, i feel you should be trying to appeal to the youth too beforeits too late and you lose them forever, because the way i see it is, if i have a choice between spending eternity with a shit load ofnaughty penioners, in hot pants digging holes in magma chambers or with you and the promise of nothing in particular but free bus travel i know which one im choosing ,do me a favour.
tell you what throw in an ipod and you got a deal.
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
im hankering for the end
Should the day of apocolypse come upon us,and if the day of armegeddon should come to pass you will find me not running in panic through the streets or praying for salvation, youl find me with cup of tea in hand, a fat joint that turns your room to kryptonite green, with my nose in a good book,i can think of no better way to spend eternity.
concentration camps
I hate overly serious people they are so uptight it conflicts with every ounce of my core which is a rotten one at that, so for a laugh should an overly serious person ever bring up the subject of the holocaust and spend 10 minutes ranting about how "awwwwful it is" that people still deny it ever happened, just wait until he finishes his little speech and gets to the point of asking "what do you think about the holocaust deniers?" i like to answer "what holocaust deniers?"" what holocaust for that matter?" like it was some indie rock n roll group youve never heard of.
Now wait until his or her's head is about to explode with rage all directed at you and say " calm down calm down of course i know of the holocaust deniers and of course i belive the holocaust occured" this will quell the beast that lurks within his fake social conscience, and then and only then may i add quip this....
"I think it was awful what they did to those millions of people in those Concentration camps, making them all sit in rows at tables making them colour in premade drawings with crayons making sure their tongue was stuck out of the side of their mouths, making them stare at inanimate objects for hours on end absolutley dreadful"
Now wait until his or her's head is about to explode with rage all directed at you and say " calm down calm down of course i know of the holocaust deniers and of course i belive the holocaust occured" this will quell the beast that lurks within his fake social conscience, and then and only then may i add quip this....
"I think it was awful what they did to those millions of people in those Concentration camps, making them all sit in rows at tables making them colour in premade drawings with crayons making sure their tongue was stuck out of the side of their mouths, making them stare at inanimate objects for hours on end absolutley dreadful"
I HAVE A DREAM
" My one hope for the future is that every living soul on earth starts to think like me, and will bend to my will, and if that takes a few million needless deaths so be it"
M. McCloskey 3.3.2010
M. McCloskey 3.3.2010
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
when did this happen
Exactly at what time did it become the done thing to go to the toilet indoors? when did pissing and shitting outdoors ever become unacceptable?, why do we have special rooms in our house with with little watery waste wells, i mean nowadays if you came across soemone who still had a outdoor toilet the many snobs among us would say "oooohh noo how dreadful this chap must be he does it outdoors how awfully prehistoric phwaa phwaa phwaa", and id agree, i mean there is absolutely nothing unevolved about going into the corner of your house and letting your guts out is there shitting and pissing in confined spaces is healthy practice
MR DIGBY( i knew it)
Friend to the unemployed liberache of affordable housing, presenter of hit shows, to buy or not to buy, double agents, a place in the sun, and many other classics Kristian Digby has been found dead at home at the age of 32, police think he may have been victim to a tragic solo sex game Auto-erotic asphyxiation, what a way to be found thats the stuff of nightmares with your head wrapped in an asda bag, and a feather duster up your arse, all i can say to all this i knew it i fucking knew it, i did i knew it, i definitly knew it, im tellin you i woulda put money on that guy living in a house which was shaped like a big pink dildo... what do you know fuck me ... i knew it
Monday, 1 March 2010
kick and a punch
A kick and a punch for the first of the month, is it how the saying goes, now im not advocating violent attacks on your fellow man , but at least do it for reasons of ideological or religious beliefs not over soemthing as trivial as the first day of the new calender month whats a matter with you people at least learn to hate properly hate hate hate hate
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Old " Friend" request
ive recently made the mistake of joining the face book group of my old middle school, and off the back of that have recieved a few new requests from old brainwashing buddies, one namely is quite disturbing from a Mr N thompson hey hope your well ? {he goes onto repeat word for word my former childhood address , sort of like this " hey hope your well your 12 ocasia gardens boy arent you, as i remember you disapeared in 8 GH? ( my class name for the final year).
Ive been at a loss on how to reply to that one and havent even decided if i want to be friends with someone who uses a persons abode for facial recognition. What is infinitly more disturbing is this lad seems to think i disapeared all of a sudden , was i unwittlingly the fuel for a nationwide manhunt of a schoolboy? milllions of pounds in tax spent on the futile search for a lifeless body of a youth with so much unknown potential, "probably buggered by peadophiles" they would say "and dumped in a ravine", i mean if i was i couldnt have been up there with the mccanns saga, i dont recall much media interest.
So to put to bed any fears Mr N Thompson about my ravaged childhood anus at the hand's of kidknappers, no i did not disapear , i did something called moving to high school, you stupid cunt and as for me accepting your fucking stupid friend request you stupid fucking stupid fucking fucking stupid cunt.... of course i will because im a whore, justlike everyone else.
Ive been at a loss on how to reply to that one and havent even decided if i want to be friends with someone who uses a persons abode for facial recognition. What is infinitly more disturbing is this lad seems to think i disapeared all of a sudden , was i unwittlingly the fuel for a nationwide manhunt of a schoolboy? milllions of pounds in tax spent on the futile search for a lifeless body of a youth with so much unknown potential, "probably buggered by peadophiles" they would say "and dumped in a ravine", i mean if i was i couldnt have been up there with the mccanns saga, i dont recall much media interest.
So to put to bed any fears Mr N Thompson about my ravaged childhood anus at the hand's of kidknappers, no i did not disapear , i did something called moving to high school, you stupid cunt and as for me accepting your fucking stupid friend request you stupid fucking stupid fucking fucking stupid cunt.... of course i will because im a whore, justlike everyone else.
what do they take us for?
remember this crazy fad that swept the nation " take two bottles into the shower? not me i just wash and go, with all new 2 in 1". Yes it's the spin doctors notion if that they combine two items into one product youl probably save enough time out of your busy life that if you wash you hair long enough youl live for fucking ever.
But this craze slipped away from us it still is here as a product but it just died as a concept, makes me wonder did an entire nation one day walk into their bathrooms and with a moment of pure exquisite clarity gaze upon their bottle of new improved head and shoulders 2 in 1 shampoo conditoner and think............... fuck this i could probably pick two bottles up today, why not... live a little.
But this craze slipped away from us it still is here as a product but it just died as a concept, makes me wonder did an entire nation one day walk into their bathrooms and with a moment of pure exquisite clarity gaze upon their bottle of new improved head and shoulders 2 in 1 shampoo conditoner and think............... fuck this i could probably pick two bottles up today, why not... live a little.
Friday, 26 February 2010
fraudulent souveneirs
we all recieve little mementos from people who go abroad dont we? my mother went to mexico a while ago and brought me back a gas fuled disposable lighter all the way from deepest darkest cancun. A South American lighterindeed, home to the aztecs and such like civilizations, and i thought it was great it had all the authentic markings of their aincient symbols via the medium of a sticker, oh yes i was well pleased with it chuffed you might say plastic all the way from a different continent, a rich and mysterious land yes please mmm i lapped it up, i never knew i was born until this point i tell you, no doubt fueled by the oil of a fermented decapitated mayan sacrifice victim on the steps of their pyramid temple youd imagine so wouldnt you?
well no turns out not actually cunts!
yesterday i noticed the curling up at the corner of said sticker and like most of the obsessive compulsive sexually frustrated hairless chimpanzees out there, i stripped it bare within the minute,
and do you know what? do you know what i fucking found ?, made in China, made in twatting China i tell you, by some poor communist chinese prisoner in a sweat shop factory with a unremovable exploding neck brace in case he trys to escape the totalitairian regimes border limits thus taking his human rights violated head clean off, you know what ?, do you know what?
i just feel fucking cheated
well no turns out not actually cunts!
yesterday i noticed the curling up at the corner of said sticker and like most of the obsessive compulsive sexually frustrated hairless chimpanzees out there, i stripped it bare within the minute,
and do you know what? do you know what i fucking found ?, made in China, made in twatting China i tell you, by some poor communist chinese prisoner in a sweat shop factory with a unremovable exploding neck brace in case he trys to escape the totalitairian regimes border limits thus taking his human rights violated head clean off, you know what ?, do you know what?
i just feel fucking cheated
yeah
you know what i hate? people who enjoy hangovers, they exist, coming into your room the morning after the wild night before over excitable reminicing about how fucking crazy it was last night " oi you you fackin nutter, you gave away your kidney last night, moohahahahah , it was good though wasnt it, wernt it? it was though admit it was fucking mental , your fucking mental, you mentalist moooohahahah (out of breath sigh)
to which you reply who the fuck are you? get out of my house? and why you wearing my underpants? piss off
to which you reply who the fuck are you? get out of my house? and why you wearing my underpants? piss off
Thursday, 25 February 2010
just a thought
its not that the goods ,gizmos gadgets,trinkets and baubles in this world we strive to accumulate are so destructive on our society as such, but rather the lengths,lows and depths that some of us will go to aquire them.
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Sunday, 14 February 2010
Olympic woe and woaahhhhhh
Over the years olympic tragedies have been rare but hardhitting, be it the horrors of munich, or the tragic death {and i mean that truly} of the georgian athlete who in practicing for his event in the luge at the winter olympics careered of the icy run to his death at a rate of speed which does not beg to be thought about.
The luge to the uninformed is an event in which you hurl yourself down a toboggan run, on your back on a tea tray,with no brakes, in a helmet wearing a skin tight fruity little garment like an allin one speedo suit, just to see who has the best time, with the consolation prize being, the hope that you live through it.
The fact this poor athlete was only practicing in itself impresses me , i mean for the love of god imagine how far he wouldve flew of the track if it was for real and he was giving it all hes got round that icy tube of death, there is only one certainty im sure of, is that wherever he landed il wager my last 10 pounds they have built a new ASDA super market in crawling distance which given his bodily state afterwards would more than likely be appropriate.
I learnt of this accident whilst watching BBC News coverage of the Vancouver winter olympics who i thought bravely decided to show him hurtling down the track to his death , .. or so i thought until the reporter stated " the bbc has decided that to show images of this final moment and feel it would be too distressing" or something of that nature.
Distressing for who? may i ask? his family and loved ones maybe yes i can agree with that, but that is not why they choose not to show you, they feel they know what is best for the viewer, i for one am curious of this although appalled at myself for it but it is a perfectly natural human act to be curious to want to face that tragedy head on and face it in all its horror.
I thought to myself, not even a look away moment like they do with the football scores, in case you want to watch the highlights on match of the day " now we go to the sport and if you dont want see the result of a man in a gimp suit on a tea tray doing a tonne and being scattered all over canada look away now " you know something like that, the question begs to be asked what do we get for our licence fee? my disabled aunty slipped on a rubber bath mat once and cracked her head firstly on a bottle of head and shoulders then the corner of the bath and due to the fact we did not have a digital camcorder in the vicinity of the incident, we politely asked her to do it again,after all its the done and proper thing isnt it?.
It is the same reason they dont like to show you upon the news the innocent men women and children being killed everyday as the result of shady wars political manouveres, and why is that? il tell you why , because the moment people actually start seeing the realities of life and death, and to face the prospect of the fact of everything ending suddenly or tragically, and to really come to terms with it grasp the absurdities of it all, then and only then can a man or woman truly begin to live and to feel free. And after all what good would that be to the economy? millions of free thinking people aware of whats really important in life with very little compulsion at all to fill there lives with shitand stuff that they truly dont need in the blind faith it will make them happy and help them live forever instead of just here and now and to be constantly force fed bile masquerading as information on there television sets.
So i for one prefer to see the horrors and the beauty of life to face it and soak it all up for the very same reason that I one day will be that gimp on a tea tray, to laugh when you shouldnt is fine, let it all hang out whats the fuss about, to see that life has no meaning other than the meaning you place upon it , and if the meaning your giving it is the fear of fear itself then your playing right into their hands.
The deceased i like to imagine felt no pain, and upon arriving at whatever " heaven" and " god " which had took his fancy in life,, for example the gates of heaven with st peter and jesus giving him the once over to see if hes allowed in( bear with me i know it all sounds a bit fantastical youl be glad i left out the bit about winged men in sheets and playing harps) ....and for him to be standing there feeling a bit of a tit for the way hes dressed in his man made fabric condom suit upon entering nirvana, and for jesus to be putting his arm around him saying, "never mind son we have some plimsoles and a dirty vest in the lost property basket" like when you had brought unappropriate attire for physical education, you know that feeling when your in a new school
and youve been sent in first day wearing a snazzy pair of white slip on loafers ? No? well maybe thats just me.
Anyways im not sure what the message is here if any at all but id like to end on the old addage "Its all fun and games , until somebody gets hurt"
The luge to the uninformed is an event in which you hurl yourself down a toboggan run, on your back on a tea tray,with no brakes, in a helmet wearing a skin tight fruity little garment like an allin one speedo suit, just to see who has the best time, with the consolation prize being, the hope that you live through it.
The fact this poor athlete was only practicing in itself impresses me , i mean for the love of god imagine how far he wouldve flew of the track if it was for real and he was giving it all hes got round that icy tube of death, there is only one certainty im sure of, is that wherever he landed il wager my last 10 pounds they have built a new ASDA super market in crawling distance which given his bodily state afterwards would more than likely be appropriate.
I learnt of this accident whilst watching BBC News coverage of the Vancouver winter olympics who i thought bravely decided to show him hurtling down the track to his death , .. or so i thought until the reporter stated " the bbc has decided that to show images of this final moment and feel it would be too distressing" or something of that nature.
Distressing for who? may i ask? his family and loved ones maybe yes i can agree with that, but that is not why they choose not to show you, they feel they know what is best for the viewer, i for one am curious of this although appalled at myself for it but it is a perfectly natural human act to be curious to want to face that tragedy head on and face it in all its horror.
I thought to myself, not even a look away moment like they do with the football scores, in case you want to watch the highlights on match of the day " now we go to the sport and if you dont want see the result of a man in a gimp suit on a tea tray doing a tonne and being scattered all over canada look away now " you know something like that, the question begs to be asked what do we get for our licence fee? my disabled aunty slipped on a rubber bath mat once and cracked her head firstly on a bottle of head and shoulders then the corner of the bath and due to the fact we did not have a digital camcorder in the vicinity of the incident, we politely asked her to do it again,after all its the done and proper thing isnt it?.
It is the same reason they dont like to show you upon the news the innocent men women and children being killed everyday as the result of shady wars political manouveres, and why is that? il tell you why , because the moment people actually start seeing the realities of life and death, and to face the prospect of the fact of everything ending suddenly or tragically, and to really come to terms with it grasp the absurdities of it all, then and only then can a man or woman truly begin to live and to feel free. And after all what good would that be to the economy? millions of free thinking people aware of whats really important in life with very little compulsion at all to fill there lives with shitand stuff that they truly dont need in the blind faith it will make them happy and help them live forever instead of just here and now and to be constantly force fed bile masquerading as information on there television sets.
So i for one prefer to see the horrors and the beauty of life to face it and soak it all up for the very same reason that I one day will be that gimp on a tea tray, to laugh when you shouldnt is fine, let it all hang out whats the fuss about, to see that life has no meaning other than the meaning you place upon it , and if the meaning your giving it is the fear of fear itself then your playing right into their hands.
The deceased i like to imagine felt no pain, and upon arriving at whatever " heaven" and " god " which had took his fancy in life,, for example the gates of heaven with st peter and jesus giving him the once over to see if hes allowed in( bear with me i know it all sounds a bit fantastical youl be glad i left out the bit about winged men in sheets and playing harps) ....and for him to be standing there feeling a bit of a tit for the way hes dressed in his man made fabric condom suit upon entering nirvana, and for jesus to be putting his arm around him saying, "never mind son we have some plimsoles and a dirty vest in the lost property basket" like when you had brought unappropriate attire for physical education, you know that feeling when your in a new school
and youve been sent in first day wearing a snazzy pair of white slip on loafers ? No? well maybe thats just me.
Anyways im not sure what the message is here if any at all but id like to end on the old addage "Its all fun and games , until somebody gets hurt"
Friday, 12 February 2010
" There is two kinds of people in this world when you boil it all down, you have your talkers and you got your doers, most people are just talkers, all they got is talk, but when all is said and done, its the doers who change this world and when they do that they change us and thats why we never forget them......so which one are you?, do you just talk about it? or do you stand up and do something about it?.
Because believe you me all the rest of it is just coffee shop bullshit.........."
Because believe you me all the rest of it is just coffee shop bullshit.........."
Thursday, 11 February 2010
In The News...
Kate " smack fiend" moss is said to be devastated at the death of her close friend, and designer extraordinaire Alexander McQueen after his very very very very tragic self killing episode at the age of 40 and as your nan would say " its no age is it", in a statement she said " Kate is shocked and devasted at the death of her dear friend lee ( isnt his name alexander make your mind up) McQueen- her thoughts are with his family at this sad time." Well i for one am glad miss moss<(funny and accurate) cleared up this little mystery, as id wondered exactly where her thoughts have been the best part of ten years apparently the McQueen family have been harbouring that vacuous stick insects metaphysical imaginings for safe keeping, more than likely in case she dropped them out her pocket while weasel boy docherty was sticking his rusty trouser needle in her a few years back.
The outpouring grief it seems is not confined to his nearest and dearest, many of my facebook "friends" which number 47 which is ironic as i actually only own one real friend and he isnt even on my face book page,.. can you own a friend?? im not sure.( il look into that one) anyways as i was saying comments are abound in statuses on facebook and i will quote one devasted young ladies words of condolence "Elaine Hargreaves - find's it strange that she decided to wear her McQUEEN skirt today after not wearing it for ages ;) spooky."
Now apart from the obvious talkin in the third person which we shall over look on this occaision( fucking wierdo) i have to say i was exactly the same when englands rose , Diana " the peoples" Princess was fataly killed in that god forsaken garlic munchers tunnel god rest her soul , in fact that very morning id took one sip from my Charles and Dianas commemorative mug when it shattered into a thousand pieces on the kitchen floor oooh spooky,,or that time when fashion lord gianni versace was slain on the steps of his home or wherever it occurred,that day i woke up with my blood soaked VERSACE underpants on, th ones with haute coture bullet wounds in them, and that hasnt happened for "agggges" "spooky".
I guess what im getting at is these people including McQUEEN are not newsworthy they do not deserve this out pouring of grief and media coverage when there is much more important things going on the world than the suicide of some cunt who got paid vast amounts of money to scribbl;e drawings of dresses on a piece of paper and get some other poor twat to stitch the material together, apparently the reason for his suicide may have been due to the fact his mother died 11 days previous, i dont care you selfish poncy little cry baby you had a nice life and people die , we all do but hurrying the process up is not big and its not clever.
Hey no offence to my mother but if she died as much as id be upset, i wouldnt be swinging from the rafters 11 days later or slicing my wrists whilst downing the pills , id be too busy spending the insurance money on wine, women and song not to mention finding a suitable place to dispose of the murder weapon.
stitch this you cunt.............\/
The outpouring grief it seems is not confined to his nearest and dearest, many of my facebook "friends" which number 47 which is ironic as i actually only own one real friend and he isnt even on my face book page,.. can you own a friend?? im not sure.( il look into that one) anyways as i was saying comments are abound in statuses on facebook and i will quote one devasted young ladies words of condolence "Elaine Hargreaves - find's it strange that she decided to wear her McQUEEN skirt today after not wearing it for ages ;) spooky."
Now apart from the obvious talkin in the third person which we shall over look on this occaision( fucking wierdo) i have to say i was exactly the same when englands rose , Diana " the peoples" Princess was fataly killed in that god forsaken garlic munchers tunnel god rest her soul , in fact that very morning id took one sip from my Charles and Dianas commemorative mug when it shattered into a thousand pieces on the kitchen floor oooh spooky,,or that time when fashion lord gianni versace was slain on the steps of his home or wherever it occurred,that day i woke up with my blood soaked VERSACE underpants on, th ones with haute coture bullet wounds in them, and that hasnt happened for "agggges" "spooky".
I guess what im getting at is these people including McQUEEN are not newsworthy they do not deserve this out pouring of grief and media coverage when there is much more important things going on the world than the suicide of some cunt who got paid vast amounts of money to scribbl;e drawings of dresses on a piece of paper and get some other poor twat to stitch the material together, apparently the reason for his suicide may have been due to the fact his mother died 11 days previous, i dont care you selfish poncy little cry baby you had a nice life and people die , we all do but hurrying the process up is not big and its not clever.
Hey no offence to my mother but if she died as much as id be upset, i wouldnt be swinging from the rafters 11 days later or slicing my wrists whilst downing the pills , id be too busy spending the insurance money on wine, women and song not to mention finding a suitable place to dispose of the murder weapon.
stitch this you cunt.............\/
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
the 2 girls 1 cup sensation
A late comer to the phenomenom that is two girls one cup video , and the various cultish behaviour of recording your reaction to it and posting it on youtube, many even think they are the only people in the world who have done this and are really crazy creative wacky funsters,looks of horror mouths aghast, and people even pretending to be sick, i have a theory why people pretend to be sick to that video its to hide the shame of there raging hard on as they wishing they were reborn as the packet of wet wipes the girls use after,,,, i myself briefly considered making one of these wacky crazy hilaiiiiirious reaction videos, but apparently, sneering sinisterly at the computer screen whilst masturbating into a walkers crisp packet is frowned upon on youtube ... fancy that
"Its Frightening"
i left the house yesterday to attend a little building where a group of civil servants occupy a room at tax payers expense,and sneer at you like you have just deficated on there shiney civil servant shoes and all in the process of trying with minimun effort may i add, to find you the job that would actually wipe the look of disgust of there faces,on a computer program they invariably all incapable of using themselves, anyways i digress....
my chief techinical supervising director of scum humouring and of using a bbc electron pc whilst job finding was named butchly enough Moira , Moira quizzed me on my activites for the past 6 months and why i had not been signing on big brothers ration book?.
One thing i have learned is never to tell them the truth always make the story as fantastical the better as to better endear yourselfs to them, thus making the process of you being on payed holiday for the forseeable future much easier, it makes the process so much more agreeable,and feel free to let your creative side out, go ape shjt these people live in a grey little world with grey little zombie children and are completely unable to smell your bullshit anymore due to their grey little social circles, although lay of the "conspiricy" plots subject they may explode with rage because they get there info from a tart on 24hr news , you will be more than likely branded an outsider, a non conformer and will removed from the free money list in shit hot fashion, i believe them to be in a state of fear of the unemployed and moira only served to confirm my fears.
during my little monologue of fabrications on why i walked away from the company 6 months ago as i was not happy with their new fangled plans of sending me along with other habitual opt
outs or bendy toys for short, on remedial course in painting pretty pictures and group therapy session on why we cant find a job, do me a favour if i want to do water colours and talk about my feelings with a room full of chavsters in 99 percent man made fabrics,il do it at home thank you very much,and anyways the static it produces plays havoc, with my ultra lazy stay at home hippy haircut.
I gave all the classic sob story lines about how tough it is out there and how i really want a job but its so difficult in this current climate upon which Moira answered" ooh i know its frightening"
what i wanted to say was "no moira its not frightening thats a blatant misscalculation of the current climate its just incoveniant so pull your finger out your big daily mail reading arse and do something about it or not whichever way you have your take on being unemployed".
But i didnt , moira claimed in the space of 30 minutes that she was also frightend by the weather, the time, the amount of unwashed peasants encroaching her cosy cubicle, and the rising unemployment problem , the question has to be asked if a lady thats this frightened of everything should be in this sort of position of power, it must be a scream round her house on halloween, ive never actually heard anyone who thinks the correct term for describing mildy depressing subjects is any word akin to "terrifying", im truly surprised she leaves the house, although maybe she couldnt bare staying at home alone all day watching the R rated loose women or maybe she was sick of the "horrifying" sound the junk mail makes when its hits the fluffy carpet , i know i do.
To be fair though i cant hate moira she bought my story and all is well it just goes to show though that people are living in complete fear and can be made to to be terrified by careful manipulation of any subject at all, i think we hit it off we have a lot in common, Moira finds the unemployment figures terrifying , and im mildy worried about getting a job.
my chief techinical supervising director of scum humouring and of using a bbc electron pc whilst job finding was named butchly enough Moira , Moira quizzed me on my activites for the past 6 months and why i had not been signing on big brothers ration book?.
One thing i have learned is never to tell them the truth always make the story as fantastical the better as to better endear yourselfs to them, thus making the process of you being on payed holiday for the forseeable future much easier, it makes the process so much more agreeable,and feel free to let your creative side out, go ape shjt these people live in a grey little world with grey little zombie children and are completely unable to smell your bullshit anymore due to their grey little social circles, although lay of the "conspiricy" plots subject they may explode with rage because they get there info from a tart on 24hr news , you will be more than likely branded an outsider, a non conformer and will removed from the free money list in shit hot fashion, i believe them to be in a state of fear of the unemployed and moira only served to confirm my fears.
during my little monologue of fabrications on why i walked away from the company 6 months ago as i was not happy with their new fangled plans of sending me along with other habitual opt
outs or bendy toys for short, on remedial course in painting pretty pictures and group therapy session on why we cant find a job, do me a favour if i want to do water colours and talk about my feelings with a room full of chavsters in 99 percent man made fabrics,il do it at home thank you very much,and anyways the static it produces plays havoc, with my ultra lazy stay at home hippy haircut.
I gave all the classic sob story lines about how tough it is out there and how i really want a job but its so difficult in this current climate upon which Moira answered" ooh i know its frightening"
what i wanted to say was "no moira its not frightening thats a blatant misscalculation of the current climate its just incoveniant so pull your finger out your big daily mail reading arse and do something about it or not whichever way you have your take on being unemployed".
But i didnt , moira claimed in the space of 30 minutes that she was also frightend by the weather, the time, the amount of unwashed peasants encroaching her cosy cubicle, and the rising unemployment problem , the question has to be asked if a lady thats this frightened of everything should be in this sort of position of power, it must be a scream round her house on halloween, ive never actually heard anyone who thinks the correct term for describing mildy depressing subjects is any word akin to "terrifying", im truly surprised she leaves the house, although maybe she couldnt bare staying at home alone all day watching the R rated loose women or maybe she was sick of the "horrifying" sound the junk mail makes when its hits the fluffy carpet , i know i do.
To be fair though i cant hate moira she bought my story and all is well it just goes to show though that people are living in complete fear and can be made to to be terrified by careful manipulation of any subject at all, i think we hit it off we have a lot in common, Moira finds the unemployment figures terrifying , and im mildy worried about getting a job.
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