cant be too careful

Through my twenties i developed a massive drug addiction mostly down to trying to chemically neuter my self so as not to have to deal with the joys of being a parent, this however presents problems as it can kill you, so now i have ditched the party lifestyle and avoid female genitalia altogether, i mostly stay at home now and masturbate into a plastic bag instead of my bed sheets and curtains as i still have the deep rooted fear i might get my mother pregnant when she launders my linen.