Duncan and David sit either side of a small downsyndrome boy called Edward in a non desscript public house, on a lounge seat which hugs the back wall directly facing a pool table. they have all put their initials on a small chalk board in a very english form of queuing for a game of pool.
David- remind me again duncan why are here babysitting a chap with downsyndrome?
Duncan- its his birthday.. and the boy likes pool.
David- hes not a boy dunc, hes a 40 odd year old man.
Duncan - 40 year old men my friend do not wear thomas the tank engine trainers.
David- well no your right, but grown men dont play video games 8 hours a day either Duncan , and a grown mans idea of saving for his future is not a box full of He-Man and star wars action toys stashed in a toys r us power rangers storage unit.
Duncan- well ok fair point , but look at his face thats the face of a teenager.
David- no mate, thats the face of a reproductive cell tragically going wrong at the genisis of his life.
Duncan- Bit glenn hoddle mate.
David- Glenn who?
Duncan- the footballer, and ex england manager, gave a statement declaring the reason why people start life with disabilities is that they have done something terrible in a former life, interesting theory actually.
David- there is only one person in this room mate who im beginning to think did soemthing wrong in past life mate and it aint Edward.
Duncan- he drinks like a fish dont he?hes costing me a packet in fosters, good job im gettin paid for this.
David- your getting paid?
Duncan- yeah course you remember i went for that job as a carer the other week? well i got it i now currently look after my friend here Mr Edward Thompson 5 nights out of seven a week thats why ive not been about much.
David- you look after him at night?
Duncan- wellllllll, this is the genius thing , the pay is so good i got myself two of them but i applied as different people for the two vacancies , i wore a disguise and everything.
David- jesusss mate thats gotta be against the law or something.... fraud of some sort, moonlighting at very least and why the hell do they need someone to see to his needs at night time surely he sleeps most of it.
Duncan- well my other customer billy does, hes all above board i feed his cats take him out for a stroll do some chores through the day all easy peasy but there aint enough hours in the day mate, not to do two of them anyway, so i sort of maybe erm adjusted Edwards routine slightly.
David- adjusted?
Duncan- yeah adjusted mate, tinkered, rearranged as it were, hes became quite the nightowl he sleeps all day comes alive at night, it works out perfectly for me , mind you its dam hard work still but its worth it.
David - let me get this straight, you have created a false identity to get two seprate jobs at the same company lookin after people with learning difficulties forcing one of them to become a creature of the night.
Duncan- force him? course i never forced him what do you take me for? , do you know how hard it is to get a chap like him to do what you want him to against his will?.
David- ok ok well i suppose thats something at least my god duncan your crazy.
Duncan- yeah I had to drug the little fucker though, nighttol mate nighttol on his frosties his spaghetti hoops everything he eats basically all at carefully worked out points in the day till his internal body clock was exactly how i needed it to fit my schedule. hes a regular little lost boy now he loves it and hes shit hot at pool ive been bringing him here to play pool for money all week im raking it in, like rain man with a weapon.
David-i cant be a party to this mate im sorry im off.
Duncan- no matey its fine, hes fine, we are fucking fine! just help me out he gets a bit of a handful ,talk to him or something its nearly his turn on the table.
David- im not so sure really i have slightly less illegal activities to be gettin on with at home like going hme to read a book on taosim or raping a farm yard animal.
Duncan - its fine mate whos gona find out just talk to him until its his turn then we will leave i promise, he loves movies he has a collection that would put blockbusters to shame DVDs everywhere in his gaff
David - he does know that collecting dvds is futile as they will become defunct soon when the next genration of home cinema comes along to claim our expendable income.
Duncan- its ok just keep asking him if he likes harry potter and all will be sweet.
Just then a voice from the other side of the bar murmurs " whos up next?" " which one of you boys is E.T ?".
The previously unstirred and silent Edward Thompson raise his finger towards the man as if to answer his question as the theme from a well known classic little lost alien moving picture show plays as if from nowhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O15x-B8PgeE
David and Duncan just turn to look at each other.
Duncan- you got a fifty pence piece mate?
David- yeah why?
DAVID HANDS DUNC THE MONEY BEWILDERED
Duncan- WATCH THIS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzJZTwFYKv4
Duncan heads to the juke box sldies the firty pence piece in with a clunk and the opening bars of eric claptons "its in the way that you use it" form the motion picture soundtrack to the colour of money, Edward clears up like fast eddy Fulson to much comedy guffaw end scene.
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